Growing up, the adage I always heard was, “Watch how your future husband treats his mom – that’s how he will treat you.” And there is some truth to that. But, girls, I think it’s more realistic to watch how he treats his siblings. And vice-versa. The sibling relationship mirrors the husband-wife relationship more than you may think.
For one, you live under the same roof, sometimes in the same room as your siblings. Like marriage, siblinghood is, for better or for 
worse, a partnership. And, unless you have super permissive parents, there are ways you speak to your sibling that you would NEVER speak to your parents. Siblings know your “hot buttons” and sometimes press them unmercifully. Siblings have the power to make life at home great or horrible. Siblings go through life with you, understand your circumstances in ways no one else, not even your best friend, can understand. You can’t fool a sibling. They know who you are. And, Lord willing, your siblings will also be your life-long friends.
There are exceptions, of course. Some are only children and don’t know the trials and joys of sibling relationships. Some just have truly mean siblings, with no chance of a close relationship. I get that. God often gives those exceptions good friends that feel like siblings, or exceptionally close relationships with their parents or other family members.
But for the rest of you – God gave you siblings. And believe me when I tell you, you’ll fight with your spouse the same way you fight with your siblings. You’re developing patterns right now that you will carry with you. Conflict is inevitable. Even with the love of your life. If, when you fight with your siblings, you yell and scream, slam doors and pout — you’ll do that with your spouse. If you apologize and work through difficulties – you’ll do that too. If you blame your sibling for everything, treat him/her like a second-class citizen, constantly compete with him/her, hardly ever talk with him/her…chances are pretty high that you’ll do the same in your marriage.
You siblings will annoy you, you will disagree and fight and say things you shouldn’t. You’re human. But what will you do after that fight? Refuse to forgive, stop talking, bad mouth that sibling to anyone who will listen? Or seek forgiveness and restoration, show grace and mercy? These are the patterns you will take from the home of your childhood into your own home one day.
“Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you.” ~ 2Cor. 13:11
