I have a student – let’s call him “Tuck” –  who keeps getting into trouble. He gets into trouble at school. He gets into trouble at home. He gets caught, he gets disciplined, but he doesn’t stop his trouble-making ways. He pauses, at times, he complains, he gets stressed. Very stressed. But the trouble just keeps coming.

One thing I really appreciate about Tuck, though, is that he doesn’t try to hide the fact that he’s getting into trouble. He doesn’t even justify it. He just walks in, hopes he won’t get caught, then (did I mention the stress?) he gets very stressed when he does get caught. He talks about the trouble, to a degree (he assures me I wouldn’t want the details), and he talks about the stress. Repentance from secret sins of the heart – The Pen Magazine

“Let’s call it what it is,” I say. “You’re sinning and you’re being convicted of the sin, but you don’t want to stop sinning.”

“I just don’t want to get caught,” he says.

“And that’s why you’re stressed, Tuck.” I give my best ‘teacher eyebrow raise’. “God loves you far too much to let you continue to sin. He’s allowing you to get caught because He loves you. Your parents are disciplining you because they love you. It’s not beneficial for your soul, your character, or your future to continue sinning.”

“So what should I do?” Tuck asks.

“Confess your sin,” I say. “Ask God to help you.”

“I do!” Tuck shouts. “I ask God to help me all the time. I ask him to help me not get stressed and not get caught.”

And the conversation spirals from there. Tuck wants a God who will wink at his sin and help him cover it up. A God who’s more like a buddy or a wingman. Tuck wants sin and God.

As I tell him, you can’t have both! God hates sin. But He loves us. That’s why He sent Jesus — because we have no way to free ourselves of the penalty of sin. So Jesus paid that price for us and gives us the gift of salvation. That gift is received when we confess our sins. But confession requires a “turning away”. Confession isn’t just an acknowledgment of sin. It’s not the “I shouldn’t have done this,” followed by a shrug. It’s “I sinned against God, I’m so sorry, and I want Your help to never do this again.” Confession recognizes that God is holy, that He is in control, and that His ways are best.

I keep praying for Tuck. God is pursuing Him. I see it. And one day, I pray, Tuck will see that too and run TO God rather than FROM God. I pray He’ll understand that God’s amazing love is so much better and more satisfying than any sin.

Maybe you have a Tuck in your life. Maybe you are a Tuck: You’re feeling stressed and frustrated and misunderstood. God wants to help. But God helps on God’s terms. Not yours. He is love. But He is also just. He is God. He knows far better than we do what we need. Trust Him. Look to Him. Surrender to Him. You won’t regret it.

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” I John 1:9