I’m a Soccer Mom. I’ve been a Soccer Mom for over a decade. I draw the line at wearing the bedazzled T-shirts proclaiming that status, but I do own a huge canopy that provides shade for me and several others during those especially long, hot days.

At a recent tournament, I was watching the referees. It started when a parent tried to tell the side judge to watch for number 9 on the other team. “He’s a bully,” the dad said. “I’ve known that kid since he was 6, and he’s rough. You need to keep your eye on him.” And on. And on. He wouldn’t be quiet. I was getting annoyed, and this dad was on my team! But the ref didn’t even seem bothered. He basically nodded and moved on. After a few minutes of the dad continuing his rant, the ref politely said, “That’s enough.” But, again, without any annoyance in his voice (meanwhile, I was about to shout, “SHUT UP, dude. I’m trying to watch the game.”)

Later, the head judge made a very unpopular call, invoking a Yellow Card, and some folks in the crowd starting shouting, players got in his face. It isn’t an unusual occurrence. I’ve seen it happen many times. And, while there is the occasional ref who gets in the fray, most just stay calm. They make the call, jot down the infraction, and blow the whistle to get the game going again. Even when the crowd and the players keep yelling, they move on. And when the rage gets overwhelming, the refs pull out a Red Card, sometimes evicting a player, coach, or parent. But through it all, most refs never engage in the name-calling.

As I was watching this, I was convicted at how NOT like a referee I am. When someone gets upset with me, I am far too quick to get defensive, or jump into the argument, point out all the ways THAT person is wrong and I’m right, and how dare he/she try and tell ME what I’m not doing right.

But as a Christian, I should be exhibiting self-control and gentleness. I shouldn’t lose my testimony just because someone else is losing theirs, or doesn’t have one to begin with, or maybe is just having a really bad day and I’m the easiest person to lash out at.

So I was praying, as I watched this game, that God would help me improve my reactions. That I would respond more like a referee and less like a four-year-old. And because God is a good teacher, He gave me immediate practice in this area. At the end of the first half, number 9 on the other team literally tackled Thomas (my son, the goalie). The trainer had to be brought on the field to make sure Thomas hadn’t sustained any serious injuries (he didn’t, but he was sure sore the next few days). My normal reaction would have been to go and tackle number 9 myself, or at least go to that side judge and tell him he should’ve listened to the annoying dad’s warnings. But God reminded me that wasn’t my job, and that getting angry wouldn’t change a thing that happened. It would just create bitterness in me that I sure don’t need.

My struggle with reactions isn’t over. For every patient response, I probably have three impatient ones. Thankfully, God is gracious. He allows us to see our sins so that He can help us overcome them. Because He loves us and wants us to be all that He created us to be, to live out the Fruit of the Spirit He has placed in us. I’m so glad He doesn’t give up on us, doesn’t get frustrated, doesn’t decide that, after 30 years, this girl should KNOW how to keep her mouth shut.

So, right now, God is teaching me to respond like a ref. What is He teaching you?