MY BLOG POSTS

I never thought I had an issue with idolatry. I mean, seriously, the word itself brings up images of men in long robes bowing down to golden calves. The closest I come to that is driving by a Chick-Fil-A billboard and following its arrow to the nearest restaurant.

But recently, God showed me that I do, indeed, have idolatry issues. But it’s not golden calves I’m worshipping. It’s my kids.

I am fairly easy-going, but I can turn “Mama Bear” with the best of them. And I know God gave us moms these maternal instincts because that is part of our role – to protect and care for our babies. But even God-given instincts can turn sinful when we lose our focus. And I lost mine. In my Mama Bear mode, I was angry at anyone who seemed to be a threat to my “cubs'” well-being. And this wasn’t just a day or two, I am sorry to say. I was angry for months.

Then one day, God finally got my attention. He waited until I had just had enough. Because it wasn’t just my spiritual self suffering, I was suffering physically, with back and neck pain, exhaustion, all kinds of issues. And in my rock-bottom state, I heard His voice. Not audible, but still clear. And not earth-shattering. Just Truth. And that Truth was that I was worshipping my kids instead of worshipping Him. I was not trusting Him with my kids’ future. I assumed I knew better than He did what was right for them. I was no better than those men in long robes bowing down before a golden calf.

So I confessed. I let go of my plans and my assumptions and my fears. And I immediately felt better. My body felt better, my spirit felt lighter. God, in His grace, immediately restored to me the “joy of my salvation” that David talks about in the Psalms.

And when I got to that point, I was mad at myself for remaining in that idolatrous state for so long. God had this joy waiting for me, this peace, this freedom. And I rejected it so I could wallow in my sin. I missed out on so much for so long because I was face down in the mud of my self-focus, when I should have let God lift my head and pull me out.

Friends, learn my from my mistake. If you find yourself “convinced” of something, sure that you know what’s right, determined to ensure your way is followed — and angry and frustrated and miserable because it’s not — humble yourself before the Lord. Seek Him first. God has SO MUCH more for you than those feelings. God is FOR you. Don’t fight Him. Trust Him. Surrender to Him. Release the “gods” that you are worshipping and return to the one true God.

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Mt. 6:33

I was watching the pilot of the new TV show, “Rise,” last week, and I was fully prepared to love it. It’s about an English teacher who takes over the Theater department at his school, after all. That’s me! He’s even my age. We’re like the same person!

Except that we’re not.

Because this teacher shut down the production of “Grease” so his troupe could do something more ‘real’. That something was a musical that glorified a laundry list of  behaviors that the Bible clearly identifies as destructive.

“The purpose of the arts,” this teacher tells his attentive students, “is to reflect culture.”

Wait just a minute. The purpose of art is to reflect culture?? So the most creative people are to simply look around and show culture what it looks like? To stand back, arms out, and shrug…”Here’s your world, folks”?

No! How about art changes culture? Challenges culture? How about we create art that points to Truth, Goodness, and Beauty? How about we reflect Christ in our art? And while that may sound crazy, this is what many artists did for centuries before this one! It has been a recent phenomenon that Christians have relinquished the arts to the secular world. (For a more thorough discussion of this topic, check out Nancy Pearcey’s Saving Leonardo)

It seems very sophisticated to argue that a show dealing with “real world” issues is artistically honest. But the fact is this show, like the show-within-a-show they try to produce, is pushing its own agenda. And it even leaves an “out” for itself – maybe they tried too hard, pushed too far. Maybe, like the show this teacher tried to produce, “Rise” itself is too edgy for folks, yet. But at least they tried. And they opened the door for more culturally reflective shows in the future.

Friends, let’s not sit back and let the arts be taken from us. Let’s not allow the world to tell us, “This is just how we are.” Let’s not assume, as Christians, that we don’t have a voice. We can speak love and Truth. We can have convictions without being jerks. We can disagree without being disagreeable. But we cannot, we should not, remain silent.

Let’s RISE up and seek to change our culture, for God’s glory.

I have been reading through the Bible, and last week, I ran across a date in the margin of the Psalm for that day: July 1997 – almost half a lifetime ago, for me. I had to wrack my brain to recall what

was going on then. Obviously it was serious, as the verse said, “O my God, my soul is in despair within me.”

Then I recalled: I had been diagnosed with the Epstein-Barr virus earlier that year. When hearing the word, “virus,” most think of a 2-3 day inconvenience. But the Epstein-Barr virus is not that. It acts like Chronic Fatigue Syndrome except that, thankfully, for most, it is not chronic. But, for me, it lasted seven months. Seven months of having no energy. Seven months of feeling like I was walking underwater with cement blocks attached to my feet. During those seven months, I was in college, working at a bank, serving at a church. I was newly married. And I was so incredibly exhausted. I barely had energy to do what I needed to do. I had no energy for friendships or fun or anything beyond just school and work.

What compounded that was the fact that so many people, having never heard of this virus, assumed I was just making it up. As a people-pleaser, that killed me. I had co-workers and teachers and even family who laughed off what I had, thinking I was a hypochondriac looking for attention. Meanwhile, I battled through every single day.

It was a horrible time – physically, emotionally, and mentally. And yet, 21 years later, I had forgotten all about it! I looked at the date and the verse last week, and I had to take a minute to recall what was going on then. And when I did spend time thinking about it, it wasn’t the “awfulness” that came to mind. What I remember most was how supportive Dave was. I remember bonding with my sister-in-law, who suffered from this virus for two years. I remember drawing strength from God in ways I had never experienced before then. I remember truly “getting” the verses about God’s strength being shown in our weaknesses. But I also remember dwelling on the hurts I felt because of the opinions of others, and the fear I felt that this virus would drag on indefinitely. Sadly, I spent far too much time living in that hurt and fear than I should have. Looking back, I am ashamed about the time I wasted focused on what didn’t matter instead of focusing more on what God was trying to teach me through it.

The Lord used that reminder to encourage me to keep in mind what is truly important. Circumstances pass. Trials are forgotten. But God is constant, and the lessons He teaches us carry on. Relationships are important, and how we react to our loved ones during difficult times carries on. “This too shall pass.”

If you are in a season of difficulty right now, focus on who God is. Don’t put effort into the hurts you may feel and the circumstances you can’t change. Put effort into knowing God better, into loving others more. Because that is what you’ll take with you. And one day, believe it or not, you will forget about what’s happening right now. And when you do, you will want to look back grateful for what God taught you and not ashamed at how you chose to behave.

“Why, my soul, are you downcast?
    Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
    for I will yet praise him,
    my Savior and my God.” ~Psalm 42:5

I was listening to a podcast last week about perspective. The woman speaking shared how she spoke to her church one Sunday, beginning her testimony with all the struggles in her life: She was in her 40s and single, making finding a spouse incredibly difficult. She was on staff at a church, a trying, lonely job. She was living in Southern California, an incredibly expensive location, especially for a single woman.

Then she paused and said, “Let me start over.” And she did. She said because she was in her 40s and single, she had decades to observe what made marriages work and what made them fail. As a result, she felt more confident in her search for a godly spouse and her preparation to be a godly spouse. Being on staff at a church, she continued, is a blessing. She gets paid to love people! And she lives in Southern California – people pay to vacation where she lives every day. It is awesome.

Same testimony, same circumstances. But what a difference perspective makes! It reminds me of this picture – you can look at it and see the profile of a beautiful young woman, or you can see the profile of a wrinkled old woman. It all depends on your perspective.

I was convicted, as I listened to that podcast, that I had been for too long looking at the “wrinkled old lady” side of life (no offense to any old ladies reading this. I am closer to joining your ranks than I am to being one of the young beauties!). All theses changes happening – at work, in my home, on my face! I’ve been mourning the changes, hating them, trying to prevent them.

But I’m going to start over. These changes? They are are opportunities to trust God, to see Him work. He is doing new things, and I get to be part of them! As my kids grow and start leaving the nest, I get to see answers to years of prayers. My children love Jesus and are serving Him. What a blessing! And, yes, I am getting older. But these wrinkles also reflect lessons learned, maturity gained. And you know what? My husband of almost 22 years still thinks I’m beautiful! Not only has our marriage survived this long, but as we anticipate the emptying of nest, we are dreaming together about the next chapter in our lives.

Perspective.

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Phil. 4:8