Teens today are having sex. A lot. Studies indicate that at least half of all teenagers are sexually active in high school. Personally, I think that number is conservative. It is as casual a part of many relationships as the goodnight kiss was back in the “old days.” It isn’t a stigma, isn’t embarrassing,isn’t shameful. It is considered a natural part of adolescence, necessary, even beneficial.
Those who disagree with this view of sex are seen as ridiculous prudes. We are mocked on TV shows, movies, even Broadway musicals. “What is the big deal?” They say. It’s a primal need, an itch that needs to be scratched. Monogamy in general is hopelessly out of fashion, even within marriage. So abstinence before marriage?? Laughable at best; harmful at worst.
Christian parents have an increasingly hard time with this issue, as well. Some don’t ever want to say the word. It is NOT a discussion they want to have with their “babies.” Other parents focus on just the negatives: teen pregnancy, STD’s, heartache…have sex and your life will be ruined. Some, who made mistakes in their own teen years, feel hypocritical telling their children to abstain when they chose not to, so they just stay silent, hoping someone else will have “the talk” with their kids.
Those of us – parents and teens alike – who hold to the Bible as our foundation must recognize two things:
1) Sex is a good thing
2) Sex is entirely reserved for the marriage relationship
We hear a lot about the second point. And, while people may not like it, there’s no getting away from the fact that sex is for marriage. Period. Not for people in a non-married, but committed, relationship; not for people planning to get married. Sex is for marriage.
Why?
Because of reason #1 – it is a good thing. It isn’t terrible, evil, scary, or disgusting. Sex is a gift given by a good God for our enjoyment. Within marriage, there is guilt-free, committed, life-long enjoyment of each other. It is part of the “one flesh” relationship God grants to the children He loves so much. It enhances a marriage, helps couples remain connected, provides a level of intimacy that, hopefully, carries over to all other aspects of marriage. Couples with healthy marriages have healthy sex lives.
It is because of how good this gift of sex is that we should guard it and protect it. While the desire may be there long before we can satisfy it, we are not powerless to give into it.
Teens, you don’t have to be in the half that chooses to give this gift away. Stand strong, even when everyone around you is falling for the world’s lies. God has something great for you – don’t miss out on His best.
“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God.” ~I Thess. 4:3-5
