Dating.

There’s so much controversy associated with it – in Christian circles, anyway. Do you date? Court? Should it be for many years or just a few months? When should you start? How do you know…?

I read an article a while ago that slammed the “courting” concept that gained popularity in the early 2000’s. Couples who followed it, this writer said, are divorcing now. They just married the first person they liked! That’s crazy. They should have “played the field” more, been more experienced, more sure of their choice.

Others, still firmly convinced of the courting model, argue that “dating is just practice for divorce”. Stay with someone until you’re bored, then move on?? Is that really the best idea? Where’s the commitment, the I Cor. 13 kind of love? And what about the poor choices involved in serial dating?

So how do you make sure you are making the right decisions with your future? What can you do now to prevent becoming a divorce statistic later?

First – stop looking for a formula!! Can we all agree that the formulas don’t work? People who courted get divorced. People who dated a lot get divorced. People who married their high school sweethearts get divorced, as do those who waited until they graduated college to find “the one”.

So what’s the answer?

Jesus.

I’m not trying to be simplistic. This is a complex issue with far-reaching ramifications. Still…Jesus is the answer.

Our most important relationship is our relationship with Jesus. He needs to be our primary focus – loving Him, knowing Him, serving Him. When our eyes are where they need to be and our heart is in HIS hands, we will have wisdom to know the answers to the rest of the questions. Dating? Courting? Young? Old? Ask Him! Seek His direction, His leading.

If you know you’re not where you need to be in your relationship with Jesus, then you are NOT ready to date. If you’re more interested in having your needs met than in serving someone else, then you are NOT ready to date! If you feel like you “need” to date in order to be “complete”, YOU ARE NOT READY TO DATE!!!  And if your parents or other adults in your life that you respect are saying you’re not ready to date, then you’re not ready to date! It doesn’t matter how old you are.

Successful relationships aren’t built on a certain formula, but on the solid Rock. YOU seek Him, run after Him. “The one” for you will be running, also, and he will join you in the race.

So stop chasing and start running.

“…Press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called [you] heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 3:14)