Bullying is a real issue today — with people of all ages. Whether it’s face-to-face or over social media, the rise in bullying is frightening. But what is bullying? When is it just a bad day or a difficult personality or even an overly emotional “victim”?
How do you know when bullying is happening? Here’s an important question to ask if you’re unsure:
Are You Offended or Bullied?
Sometimes, people say things to offend us. They disagree with our opinion or maybe even laugh at something we think is serious. This is an offense. The Bible tells us that, when we are offended, we should confront the person so that there can be restoration. Humbly approach the person who has 
offended you and say, “You are important to me, and you hurt my feelings when you _______.” Not as an accusation or finger pointing, but to restore the friendship. I have seen great results from following this biblical principal. I have been on both the giving and receiving end of a healthy confrontation, and I have had friendships deepen and trust grow as a result.
However, when someone has caused you actual physical harm – whether it’s direct, like a punch in the face, or indirect, like being purposefully tripped – this is bullying. When someone’s words are designed to belittle, harass, or demoralize you – this is bullying. When these events happen, tell someone you trust. This type of behavior goes beyond an offense. This isn’t something you should have to just “put up with” nor is it a time to “turn the other cheek.” You aren’t being dramatic to want physical or verbal abuse to stop. As with an offense, our desire, even when being bullied, should be to seek restoration. But you need outside help to seek that. Sometimes, the bully will admit his/her wrongdoing and seek forgiveness. Often, sadly, they do not. Their response is not your responsibility. Your responsibility is to see they are held accountable for their actions.
But…
I have known many people who have been bullied/abused, and none of them immediately sought help. All, without exception, made excuses. “But…he’s usually really nice.” “But…she’s just having a bad day.” “But…no one will be believe me.” “But…she’ll be even worse if I say something.” And so on. If a “but” is coming to mind, know that you’re not alone. Telling is scary. But so is staying silent.
Friends, God made us ALL in His image. And He wants us ALL to know Him. If someone is mistreating you or someone you know, that person cannot ever truly know God. By staying silent, you aren’t protecting him/her. You’re hurting him/her. Consequences here on earth are designed for restoration. God uses those to point people to Him. When sin is allowed to stay hidden, sinners miss out on the joy of forgiveness and a right relationship with God.
If you or someone you know is being bullied – speak up. Not out of spite or anger, but love. Love that bully enough to expose his/her sin so she can be restored. Pray for him/her. But don’t stay silent. Ignore the “but’s”.
