MY BLOG POSTS

“Did you know Krista worked as an actress in England for two years?”

This story was circulated when I was in 11th grade. Not bad, as far as rumors go. In fact, I kind of wish it had been true — how cool would THAT be?? But it wasn’t. Not even close. When the story got back around to me, I laughed like Henry Higgins when he heard that Eliza Dolittle was mistaken for Hungarian nobility.

Here’s the real story: The year before, at my old school, I had played Cecily in “The Importance of Being Earnest”, and the director required us to to spend a full two weeks perfecting our English accents before we could even get onstage to begin rehearsals. So the “two” and the “England” and the “actress” were all right. But the story? All wrong.

Thankfully, that rumor didn’t do any harm. But that’s rare, isn’t it? Usually untruths, half-truths, and bold-faced lies do major damage to a person’s reputation. Why? Because we believe them!

How often do we listen to rumors about others and make judgments based on those rumors rather than getting to know the person for ourselves? How many people have we hurt simply by believing the worst about them? I am ashamed to think of how often I have been guilty of that.

So the next time you hear the whispering about so-and-so, walk away. Refuse to listen, refuse to believe. Get to know people yourself instead of allowing others’ sometimes erroneous opinions to shape yours.

“The gossip of bad people gets them in trouble;
the conversation of good people keeps them out of it.”
~Proverbs 12:13 (MSG)

Some of you may remember that, a couple months ago, this happened:

Today, it looks like this:

And, because, even though I am middle-aged, my vanity remains, it often looks like this:

It really is barely noticeable. Just a tiny little scar. But it didn’t start out like that. First it was a gaping wound (you’re welcome for not putting THAT picture up!). It was deep and bloody and nasty looking. Even my doctor did a little “oh, that’s ugly!” gasp when he saw it. And I’ll be honest – I was nervous I’d end up looking like a cross between Harry Potter and Frankenstein when it was all over. And, for a while, the scar looked pretty nasty. I used the heavy-duty scar reducer ointment as well as my friend’s homeade oil ointment, but the scar stayed angry and red-looking, mocking me everytime I looked in the mirror. But now, two months later, it’s really no big deal at all.

Because I look at everything as potential blog post topics now, I thought of how our physical scars are a lot like our emotional scars. When we are wounded, that wound is ugly, messy, and painful. Maybe it’s a major wound, like losing a loved one. Maybe it’s more minor – cruel words from someone you thought was a friend. But wounds are wounds, and they hurt. And when they are fresh, we sometimes think they’re going to hurt forever. Healing seems impossible. The pain is too deep.

But, with the right care, we can heal. With physical wounds, like mine, I needed to see an expert, someone who could stitch me back together.  With spiritual wounds, we sometimes need the help of experts, as well. Maybe that someone is a pastor or youth leader, maybe a professional counselor. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you are hurting. There ARE people out there who want to help you heal.

And, hopefully this doesn’t stretch the metaphor too far (bear with me if it does!), just like healing ointments helped reduce my physical scar, the daily application of God’s word to our hearts brings healing like nothing else can.

And just like my physical scar – the reminder of wounds often remain with us. But they can heal, they can fade. They make us who we are, but they don’t need to define us. I am not the woman with the scar over her eye. I am God’s child. Clumsy. A tad iron-deficient. Vain. But God loves me, anyway. And He loves you, too. Scars and all.

Last June marked 20 years since I graduated from high school.

Yes, I am THAT old.

But let me just tell you — these 20 years have gone by fast. Really fast.

Those of my generation (and older) reading this are nodding their heads in agreement. Time DOES fly by!  But you guys who are still in high school…graduation seems eons away. I get it. I teach high school students, and this time of year, especially, we teachers know that grades start dropping, students get more antsy than usual. The “drama” tends to get more pronounced. Everything seems worse. Frustrations that have gone on all year aren’t ending. Classmates who make you crazy are not stopping. Teachers who you are sure hate you make life in their classroom even more miserable. The year is going on FOREVER and you just want out! Graduation Day seems like it will never get here.

If you’re reading this and you’re there, in that “March Madness” of your academic life, take some advice from someone with two plus decades on you: some things that seem super-important, life-or-death right now, really aren’t.

Here’s what I don’t remember from 20 years ago:

• My grade in Chemistry
• My senior research paper topic
• My Trigonometry teacher’s name
• Our Homecoming theme
• Our prom theme
• The score of any sport played my entire senior year
• The most popular girl/boy in school
• How much I weighed
• The most popular song/movie/dance of 1993
• Reasons for getting mad at my parents/friends/teachers
• My SAT or ACT scores

I could go on, but you get the point.  My “March Madness” issues from high school? Completely forgotten.

So today, focus on what really matters: the parts of you that reflect Christ and are being shaped into someone who resembles him more and more each day.  Do your best in school, in sports, in your extracurricular activities, but don’t let yourself be defined by any of those. As my friend Laura tells her students, “You are not the grade you receive.” You are a beloved child of God. A child of God who may struggle with math, with some extra weight, with low self-esteem, with parents who are divorcing, with friends who have hurt you…but those aren’t who you are. You are God’s precious daughter. And all that other stuff…?

Fuggitaboutit!

Being in love is a state heralded by poets, songwriters, and authors. Hollywood makes hundreds of movies a year about being in love. There are websites dedicated to finding your true love and books detailing how to find love, keep love, and restore love.

Love is a many splendored thing. All you need is love. What the world needs now is love sweet love. Can’t help falling in love….I could go on. So could you, I’m sure.

We love love. And we should. It IS a wonderful state. The state of being in love is one of the wonderful gifts God gives us humans, one of the great joys we get to experience this side of heaven.

BUT (you knew that was coming, right?) love makes people crazy. Seriously. There are even scientific studies behind it – something to do with chemicals in the brain. We can’t stop thinking about that special someone, can’t stop talking about him. Everything about him is wonderful – the way he smiles, the way he laughs, his scent…You could be with him forever and never get tired of gazing into his eyes and speaking tender words of love.  You are, as Flower says in “Bambi”, ‘twitterpated.’

And it’s perfectly fine to be ‘twitterpated.’ God gave us those chemicals, created those feelings. But we need to be careful not to go blindly into love. Solomon, in his Song, says, several times, “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.”

When we are falling in love with the guy God has chosen for us, it is beautiful, exciting. I look back on the two years Dave and I dated with great fondness. I was a crazy fool, and it was awesome.

But when we allow ourselves to fall in love with anyone other than God’s choice for us, there is no end but heartache. And the road leading to that heartache is filled with decisions we regret, friends we lose, parents and teachers we ignore. It is filled with a whole bunch of incredibly destructive crazy.

So how do we make sure we choose God’s man? We must first fall crazy in love with Jesus. I’m talking want-to-spend-all-your-time-with-him, can’t-get-enough, I-want-to-tell-the-whole-world INSANE about the Savior. Your relationship with Him should be strong, solid, growing and maturing. THEN you are ready to consider allowing a young man into your heart and life.

As my pastor’s wife says, “You just keep running hard after Jesus. As you’re running, look to your right and left. The man who’s running beside you or ahead of you – that’s the one for you.”