MY BLOG POSTS

I turn 40 on Saturday.

40?? Say it ain’t so!

Depending on your age, that may be REALLY old or quite young. I am quickly shifting into the latter category :). Milestone birthdays tend to make me reflective — like a New Year’s Day on steroids. I look back over the last decade, or two in this case, and think about the one to come.

I went into each of the last two decades with specific plans and dreams, and God laughed. Silly girl! His plans, though sometimes more difficult, were always better, and never, ever what I expected. (note: the hyperlinks in here are to previous posts)

When I turned 20, I was dating Dave. We were fairly serious. I knew he was the one, and he was slowly coming around to that fact. We were engaged that summer, and married a year after that. Here was my plan for the remainder of that decade:

• I would finish college
• We’d move to Texas
• I’d get a job teaching English at a public school in Dallas….
• So Dave could go to seminary full time
• He’d graduate seminary…
• And get a job at some college or church (that was fuzzy) where we would live forever
• THEN, we’d have kids. I’d be 27 or 28.

Our prayer card: 2003

Here’s what actually happened:

• I got pregnant  (age 23)
• I graduated college (age 24)
• We moved to Texas — against my will (a baby changes everything!)
• I was a full-time mom and an ad junct English teacher
• Dave went to seminary part-time
• I got pregnant again (age 25)
• I got pregnant again (age 27)
• We decided to go to Spain as missionaries, sold our house and most of our belongings, and spent a year driving around the country to raise support (ages 28-29)

Yep. My plans were WAY off. But I am so glad. My plans may have been safe, but they wouldn’t have required much spiritual stretching.

When I turned 30, we were just starting our year of language training in Costa Rica. My plans for that decade were pretty simple:

• We’d move to Spain
• We’d live there forever

The first copy of my first book! 2011

Here’s what actually happened:

• We moved to Spain (age 31)
• We returned to the states less than a year later, broken (age 32)
• I got my “dream job”: teaching AP English at a Christian school (age 32)
• Another dream: I got published (age 36)
• Another dream: I starred in our mega-church’s mega Christmas production (age 36)
• Loss of a dream: I was no longer being published  (age 39)
• Loss of two other dreams: We moved to Largo – away from the school and church I loved (age 39)

Again, my expectations and God’s plans did not match up! And though some of those differences were terribly painful, they were good. Because God is good. And He is far more concerned with my eternal holiness than my temporary comfort. He teaches me, stretches me, and molds me into someone who will reflect Him to those He places in my path.

So, when I turn 40, you know I have plans! Lots of them. But I hope that, after two decades following Jesus, I can do a better job at holding those plans in an open palm. I want to be less frustrated when my plans don’t work out, more accepting of whatever surprises God brings about. I hope that, along with the gray hair and wrinkles, I am starting to show more Jesus, too.

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord,plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jer. 29:11

Yes, I just quoted Taylor Swift (I have two teenage daughters, you know!) And while I don’t agree with a lot of T-Swift’s life philosophies, I am in full agreement that, with haters, we need to just “shake it off.”

I am thinking about haters right now because I just deleted a venomous Facebook comment directed at some spectacular kids. It was nasty and rude and designed to not just bully, but to eviscerate.

I am also thinking about haters because, as a teacher and a writer, I have been – and am – the target of some pretty rotten opinions and, sometimes, even outright lies.

So what do you do when you’re on the “hated” side? Just how, exactly, do you “shake it off?”

Know Who Defines Your Worth

The Bible tells us we are fearfully and wonderfully made by a Creator whose love is so deep and so wide that nothing can separate us from Him. A God who sent His Son to earth to provide a means of salvation so we can spend eternity with Him. You are special, not because of who you are or what you can/cannot do, but because of WHOSE you are. We are sons and daughters of the King! Rest in that truth, my friends. Do not let anyone but the God who loved and made you define who you are.

Do What’s Right, No Matter What

Some of the worst hate is directed at us because we are doing what’s right. Jesus experienced just that, and he told us to expect the same. I have readers who hate my books because of the amount of Jesus that’s in them. I have students who hate me as a teacher because of the amount of work I require. I could write different kinds of books, I could show movies and hand out A’s just for attendance – but if I did those things, I would not be doing what God called me to do as a writer and a teacher. And obeying God’s calling is far more important than being liked.

Haters are Often Hurt

The nastiest people are often deeply wounded themselves and so feel the need to wound others. They have been mistreated, abused, ridiculed, neglected…and they respond by building a wall around themselves to prevent further injuries. They lob their missiles from behind that wall, hoping to injure others because, as the saying goes, “misery loves company.” The last thing we need to do is retaliate. We can pray for those who persecute us. We can show them love and kindness, and we can share the grace that has been given to us by God. That is not easy – in fact, I think it’s the hardest act God asks of us. But, through His power, we CAN love  the unlovable.

So if you are dealing with some hate right now, know you are not alone. Let’s “shake it off” together.

I love the movie “The Princess Bride.” There are few movies that I can handle watching repeatedly – but that is one of them (along with anything starring Judy Garland, Gene Kelly, or Carey Grant).

If you’ve seen it (and if you haven’t, you must!), you’ll remember the part when Inigo says,

I’ve been thinking of that lately in relation to God. I hear and read about people who have rejected Him because He isn’t behaving in the way they think He should: God allowed something bad to happen to a loved one or to themselves, so they are “done” with Him.  Why would they serve a god like that? So they reject him, stop believing in him, write books and create documentaries about why rational people must do the same.

But, like Inigo, I listen and I read and I can’t help saying…”I don’t think that word means what you think it means.” The God of the Bible is not man-made. When we create Him in our own image, we diminish His holiness. We place ourselves above Him. We are, in effect, God, and our way is right.

But the fact is, we don’t get to “define” God. We get to know Him, to worship Him, to serve Him, to hear from Him, to be loved by Him, to live in eternity with Him…but not to define Him. HE is God. We are not.

If you think you might be misunderstanding this Word, read about Him – check out what He says about Himself in the Bible. Don’t make up your own definition of who God is, don’t reject an idea you created. God is far greater, far better, far more holy than most people ever realize.

We worry about just about everything. We worry about how we look and what we weigh, we worry about getting sick, about getting hurt. We worry about being misunderstood, about letting people down.

We start worrying early. We worry about getting good grades, graduating from high school, graduating from college, getting married, getting a job. Then we worry about our kids getting good grades, graduating from high school, graduating from college, getting married, getting a job….It never ends.

And because we all do it, we justify it. We allow it. We even joke about it.

But here’s the deal — worry is a sin. There are about a dozen verses with some version of “Do not worry” in them. Here are just a couple:

“So do not  worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will  care for itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own. Mt. 6:33

“And which of you by worrying can add a single hour to his  life’s span?” Lk. 12:25

Ultimately, worry reveals a lack of faith. We don’t really believe God is sovereignly in control — of EVERYTHING. If we truly grasped that truth, clung to it, then we could push away our worries, not give them any power over our lives.

So what do we do? Worry that we’re worrying too much?

How about every time we start worrying, we replace that thought with one of those verses? Claim those truths daily, hourly, until the truth replaces the lies. Until we live in the joy of trusting God instead of the bondage of worry.