MY BLOG POSTS
In Favor of the “Friend Zone”
There is MAJOR pressure, I know, to have “someone”. Especially when everyone around you seems to have a 
“someone” and you’re stuck home on a Saturday with Netflix and a pint of Ben and Jerry’s.
But, if you observe most high school relationships, there are problems: Young couples are often unprepared for the feelings that come from being in a romantic relationship. They can become completely oblivious to the outside world, losing friendships and, too often, pieces of themselves in the process. When girls, especially, come out of those relationships, they are devastated, lost, and, if they’re not careful, look for another guy to replace the one they’ve lost, starting the cycle all over again. As a result, they only see guys as potential boyfriends, and they lose valuable opportunities to really get to know the male species on a deeper level.
On the other hand, there’s the “Friend Zone” – a place that seems, to many, like the “Mush Pot” in the childhood game of Duck-Duck-Goose. This is the place where guys and girls are friends. Just friends. No romantic interest, no clandestine flirting, no wondering what that emoji in that text means. Friends.
But, ladies, the Friend Zone is NOT the Mush Pot. It isn’t negative, it doesn’t mean you’re not pretty or interesting or desirable. What it means is that you have opportunities to get to know guys as people, not as potential boyfriends.
You can get to know how guys think, what they like, what makes them laugh and what makes them angry. There’s no pressure with friends, no expectations. You can go out with no makeup on, eat that Double-Double cheeseburger, ask the tough questions…and it’s fine!
Sometimes, during the turbulent teen years, you can forget that they are just a stage of life — like toddlerhood, elementary school, and (groan) middle school. It really will end! And those who love you want you to look back on these years with more positive memories than negative ones. More growth than regret. We want you to focus on deepening the most important relationship – the one between you and your Savior. We want you to allow Him to develop a strength of character that will be a guiding force as you enter adulthood.
So let go of that “thirst” to have “someone”, and be a friend to the guys in your life. Make knowing Christ your priority. Enjoy this stage of life without striving to leave the “Friend Zone”. You’ll find, in the end, that the Friend Zone is actually a pretty great place to be.
What is Good Friday?
What is Good Friday?
It is the day Christians remember Christ’s work on the cross.
On Good Friday, Jesus was led to his execution. He was sentenced to a death so horrendous that it was reserved only for non-citizens of the Roman Empire. Not even the worst Roman citizen would have to endure this. And Jesus was sentenced for one reason:
Because he claimed to be God.
He wasn’t killed for being a good person, for being a wise teacher, for hanging out with tax collectors and prostitutes. He was killed because the Jewish leaders of his day found his claims of deity to be blasphemous. They did not believe he was the promised Messiah. And they understood – rightly – that that is exactly who he was saying he was.
But Jesus was the Messiah. He was God in the flesh, come to earth. He lived a sinless life, qualifying him to be the only one who could pay the penalty for our sins.
Sins separate us from God. But God loves us, and he doesn’t want us separated from him. And so he sent his son to die the death that we deserve so we can have eternal life with him.
This Friday is remembered as Good, not just because Jesus paid the penalty we deserve, but because three days later, He rose from the dead – proving once and for all He is God and has power over sin and death. He is the victor. And through Him, we, too, are victorious. In the words of a beautiful old hymn,
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow
Because He lives, all fear is gone
Because I know who hold the future
And life is worth the living just because He lives
I Heart the Arts
The cast of Calvary Christian Academy’s production of “Beauty and the Beast”
I have been thinking a lot about the arts lately – probably because, at our school, we just finished a fantastic production of “Beauty and the Beast”. And in thinking about the arts, I have realized just what an incredible impact the arts had on my education, on shaping who I am. I was involved in plays, in choir, in drama as far back as I can remember. Whether in church, school, or community theaters, I had the amazing privilege of growing up surrounded by people for whom the arts were valued. And, therefore, I felt valued.
I wasn’t really a “well-rounded” kid. Not that my parents didn’t try — they did. I spent a season in soccer only to make one goal: for the other team. I played one season of softball and in all my at-bats, the closest I ever came to hitting the ball was when I tipped it and the ball went flying backward. I was in dance for a few years. Until my teacher got fed up with me trying to tap in my toe shoes. And trip over my laces. And “standing like a wet noodle.” I took piano for a while, too. But I am not coordinated (see above examples), so I never could make my left hand do something different from my right hand. School wasn’t my thing. I hated math and just barely tolerated all the other subjects. I graduated high school with a 3.3, and that was just fine with me.
But I loved performing. I loved singing and acting. I loved being on stage. I even loved being backstage. I ran lights, sound, worked as stage manager, ticket collector, anything they’d let me do. I spent more time at my town’s community theater than I ever did at school. And I loved every minute of it.
This is me (age 17) as the Wicked Stepmother in “Snow White”
And what benefit did I gain from that? I learned to love stories. I learned to work with others. I learned that speaking in front of large groups isn’t that scary. As I grew in my relationship with God, I learned humility, the importance of putting others before myself, the necessity of working as a team. I learned that God gave me the talent that I have, and I can feel His pleasure when I use it.
I am sure I would be a very different person today if it weren’t for the arts. I would feel like a failure – someone who strikes out at home plate, who can’t make a goal, who can’t play piano, who can’t understand theorums. There could have been a lot of “can’ts” in my life. There were! But I wasn’t bothered by them because I had plenty of opportunities to do things I “can.”
That is why I teach arts’ classes, why I volunteer with the arts in church and in the community, why I value the arts. Because the arts are valuable, and they are fun; they are God-given abilities that can be used to help make our churches, schools, and communities better, brighter, and more exciting.
When Life Isn’t “Good”
Have you ever gone through a difficult time and some well-meaning person quotes Roman 8:28?
I want to talk about that today. What does God mean when he says “All things work together for good”? If He means, as we often assume, that good circumstances will arise from bad ones, that a “happy ending” will come to our earthly story, that the sickness will go away, the heartache will be mended, the betrayal be made right…then something has gone REALLY wrong. Because sometimes bad things just happen. Even to good people. And there doesn’t seem to be anything “good” about it.
To understand this verse, we need to understand the word “good”. If we come in believing that word means “made right”, then we will be frustrated. There is nothing “right” about a loved one dying of cancer, of a father leaving his family, of the betrayal of a friend. Those are awful. Terrible. Bad.
Instead
of “good”, the word may be best understood “profitable” or “useful”.
We must remember that, when the “terrible” happens, God is still in control. He CAN bring beauty from ashes, He can bring good from evil.
But that doesn’t necessarily mean He will change our circumstances.
What it means is He will change our hearts. He will use those instances in our lives to allow us to know Him better, to know His word better, to become better acquainted with His character. He will equip us to help others going through similar circumstances, and He will remind us this world is NOT our home.
Some of us need to stop being angry and bitter because the bad in our lives doesn’t seem to be working out for good. We need to define “good” properly. We need to surrender to God’s sovereignty. We need to long for heaven and store our treasures there.
We need to ask God how He wants to shape us through the “bad” that comes into our lives. How can we grow from this? How can we know Him better? How can we serve others as a result of the trials we have faced? “Bad” can be made useful and profitable if surrendered to the Lord of All. So surrender!