MY BLOG POSTS

This morning, our family visited friends in the Imperial Valley, an agricultural area about two hours east of us. My husband, David, had the privilege of spending six years there as a pastor’s kid, and he maintains many of the relationships he forged there. One of those was the couple we visited today – David’s youth leaders!

Along with some great stories of pre-teen David, the kids got shooting lessons and sage advice. We also got to see several dozen date trees. I had never seen a date tree! Or maybe I had, but I just called it a palm tree and didn’t realize there was fruit beneath the fronds.

But there is fruit. A lot of fruit! As Gary picked one off the branch, he bit it to show us the inside – it looks a lot like an apple, but with a pit like a cherry. I asked if we could eat one. He laughed and said, “You don’t want to eat one yet! They aren’t ripe. They need another month or so before they are ready to be harvested.”

The he showed us one that had come loose from the vine. It was a putrid shade of greenish-brown and looked shriveled and sad. This one, Gary told us, broke away too soon. It’s not sweet enough to eat, and it can’t be placed back on the vine to receive the nutrients it needs. So it just has to be discarded. It’s no good.

I thought of the parable of the vine and the branches in John 15. “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5)

Jesus was speaking to folks who understood agriculture: they knew just how necessary the vine is – how absolutely impossible it is for fruit to develop apart from it. As I looked at those dates – the ones holding firm to their source – I understood this parable in a way I hadn’t before.

I began thinking, how often do I pull away from my source? How often do I try and look for solutions to a problem that can only be repaired by hanging on to the One from whom all strength resides?

Thankfully, our amazing heavenly Father doesn’t resign us to withering away and being tossed out when we pull away from Him. He grafts us back, if we are willing. Through His grace, He weaves us back into Himself, He pours life and hope into us, He matures and strengthens us.

I’ll be honest- some days, I just want to let go. Holding on seems hard. It seems pointless. It seems exhausting. I begin to wonder if life wouldn’t just be easier if I did it my way. But the reality is, when I do choose to let go, I shrivel up. I become sour and ugly and useless.

The reality is, I need the vine. I need Him because He has resources I don’t have and I can’t manufacture on my own. Through Him, I get strength to endure. Through Him, I get courage to face difficulties. Through Him, I grow.

Apart from Him, I can do nothing.

With Him, I can do all things.

How am I? You ask.

Busy. I am busy. 

Like most people today, I have taken on more than I should, and I am constantly running behind, running late, running on too little sleep.

I should know better. I DO know better. A few years back, I got so busy, I was in almost-total burn-out. Months on end with no real rest took its toll on my body, my mind, and my soul. Not to mention my family!!

But that was a few years ago. Time has passed. I’ve forgotten what I learned in that season. I am not in the burn-out stage yet. But I am on that road.

So here is a list of reminders for me, as I seek to free myself from this “busyness” cycle. Feel free to add in any that you think I’ve missed…

• Pick a God. A couple years ago, I read the book  gods at war by Kyle Idleman. It is convicting, but so good. In it, Idleman argues that we say God is “first” in our lives, but in reality, we are worshipping other gods. For me, the “gods” of Approval and Success are at the top of my list. I want people to like me and think I’m great, so I spend my days “sacrificing” to those gods. If God were really first, it would be HIS good opinion I craved, HIS kingdom I sought. And, in doing that, it would be HIS peace I’d have daily.
• Prioritize. There are some things I HAVE to do. But there are a lot of things I just want to do. And there are things I think I should do. And, if I am worshipping the wrong god, I confuse the three and think they’re all “have to’s”. I burn myself out trying to get them all done. The truth is, though, there are really just a few things I HAVE to do. I need to determine what those “have to’s” are and let some of the others go – even if that means people don’t like me or consider me a failure.
• Just Say No. It’s not just for drugs. It’s not even just for bad things. Sometimes, we need to say no to good things. Sometimes, I need to say I just can’t go to that game because my body needs rest. Or I can’t go to that retreat because I can’t fill one more weekend. Sometimes, I need to say that those papers won’t be graded for a few days because it isn’t fair to my family. For many of us, “no” is a difficult word to say. But it is necessary.
• Say Yes. Too often, I skip the “have to’s” for the “want to’s” or “should’s”. I am up late because of a game or papers or a TV show, and I sleep in, forgoing my time with God. Or I spend all my energy on work and, when I get home, I have no energy left for my husband or my kids. When I have the right priorities, I make sure I get a good night’s sleep so I can get up and spend that time with God. I do just what I can at work, then leave, knowing my family is more important than my job. I say no to the less important so I can say yes to what really matters.
• Start TODAY. I SO want to say, “And I will implement these AS SOON AS…” this project is over, this season ends, this crisis passes. I want to put it off because the gods of Approval and Success scream at me to worship them a little longer. But I can’t. They are false, and they are destructive. And I am tired. So I will start today.

“But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.” Heb. 3:13

In November 2000, I was 7 months  pregnant with my second child, Eliana. I had been going to a midwife, planning to deliver at a birthing center. Because my spine is fused, I can’t get an epidural. I chose a midwife because they offer some alternative pain management that doctors don’t. However, midwives don’t deliver babies that are in breech position – head up. And Eliana was in breech position. So, two months before my due date, I had to find a doctor. Who would take me at 7 months. With a fused spine. And a breech baby.

November 2000

But it “just so happened” that my Bible Study Fellowship small group leader was married to an Obstetrician. A Christian OB who specialized in high-risk pregnancies and who was willing to take a late term patient with a fused spine.

I went to this doctor – and I was pretty nervous. This was not my plan! The first thing Dr. Blair did was put a hand on my shoulder and say, “You know what, God isn’t looking down saying, ‘Oh no! That baby is breech? What do I do?’ No way. He already knows that baby, He knows you, and He’s going to tell us what to do.”

So we talked about plans – turning the baby (ouch!), delivering feet first (ouch, ouch!), C-Section (I’d be put completely to sleep and wake up with a baby…yes, please!!). We agreed to spend a week praying, and then make a decision at the next appointment.

When I went back the next week, Dr. Blair put a hand on my stomach and just laughed. Eliana had turned. And she wasn’t a small baby. At delivery (Jan. 8), she weighed almost 9 lbs. And I had no idea she turned a complete flip that week. It shouldn’t have happened…I was too late, she was too big, there was no room. But there it was.

I didn’t get to go to sleep and wake up with a baby. But I  did learn a great lesson: Nothing surprises God. I knew that, intellectually. But I didn’t know it, experientially.

God always has a plan. And it is rarely the same as mine.

In the years since, I have learned this lesson in more ways. Sometimes – several times – the ending wasn’t nearly as happy as Eliana’s delivery. But every time, God got us through whatever unexpected situation occurred. And He taught us through it. He increased our faith and drew us closer to Him. In fact, “unhappy endings” were often the times that grew my faith the most.

God uses the unexpected events in our lives to remind us He is in control and He is never surprised. We can trust Him. No matter what.

I recently read that, prior to the 1920s, most women had mirrors that were tarnished.  The view they received in those mirrors, then, was fuzzy, imperfect. Like one of the distorted SnapChat filters. 

As mirrors improved, women were shocked at what they saw: blemishes, wrinkles, dark spots, under-eye bags, crow’s feet, red blotches – no more filter!

Beauty products suddenly became a booming business.

As I read this, I thought about these verses…

“Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.” (James 1:23-25)

James says the Word of God is a mirror – a clear mirror that shows us our imperfections. A mirror that, at times, can make us uncomfortable. But a mirror that reflects reality so we can know exactly what needs to be fixed. When we remember that image – those ugly imperfections – we can focus on asking for help to overcome them (info on that in James, too!).

But I think many of us today have the same problem women prior to the 1920s had: we’re not looking in good mirrors. Instead of peering into the Word of God for our “how do I look?” check, we look at other people and other books, even blogs like mine. Nothing is wrong with reading this blog (I’m so glad you do!), but it is meant as an encouragement, not a replacement for time spent in God’s Word. Devotionals are great, Christian books are great, talks with other believers are great, but none of those are as beneficial to your “spiritual beauty” as DAILY time spent in the Word of God.

So maybe it’s time for a mirror check – where are you looking to determine how you truly look? If it’s been a while since you’ve looked in the mirror of God’s word, then open it up, dive back in. Don’t be content with a “filter” on your spiritual mirror.