MY BLOG POSTS

I’ve debated writing this blog. I have no problem writing about hard times – and I’ve had my fair share over the last few years. But this blog is about good times – amazing times – and I feel a little worried. Like I might “jinx” all this wonderfulness if I say it out loud.

But that attitude is not biblical. We are given times of rejoicing, and we should rejoice in them! We should acknowledge the good gifts that God gives us – because all good gifts are from Him. He, in fact, delights in giving His children good gifts. And though we all know there are also times of trial, suffering, and heartache this side of heaven, there are also, as a former pastor used to say, “glimpses of the Kingdom”.

This month is a “glimpses of the Kingdom” month for the McGee family.

May 7. My husband, Dave, graduated with his PhD in Theology from Mid-America Seminary. In a “beauty from ashes” story, Dave was able to graduate earlier than planned because of our unexpected move to Memphis.

May 15. Our daughter, Emma, graduated from Truett McConnel University with a BS in Psychology. She completed her degree in 4 years – even with a semester “off” her Freshman year, when she served with a missions team in Mexico and Peru. She got a job working at TMU as an admissions counselor, where she will continue her education – working on a Masters in Counseling.

May 15. Our son, Thomas, graduated from Northpoint Christian School. He handled a move his senior year with such grace. God blessed him with some wonderful friends and a terrific soccer season with the best guys. He’s going to attend Bryan College in the fall, where he’ll study Kinesiology and continue playing soccer.

May 18. Dave and I celebrated 25 years of marriage! We have experienced all but the “death” part of our vows – we’ve endured trials, raised three kids, survived countless changes, lost parents, and so much more. The years haven’t all been easy, but God got us through the difficult ones. I’m so thankful to be married to a man who loves God with all his heart and makes his family a priority. We are blessed.

May 27. We close on our new home in Flowery Branch GA! OUR home. This, for those who know me, is huge. We’ve been “nomads” for almost 20 years. God is allowing us to put down some roots in a home that is ours – a brand-new home! – that’s close to our girls and just a few hours from Thomas. This is a blessing beyond what I ever expected.

So, as you can see, this is an a-MAY-zing month! God gets all the glory and all the praise. God is good all the time…!

I was listening to a podcast last week that has been reverberating in my mind ever since. The speaker used the story of Rachel and Leah (Genesis 29-30) to discuss the problem of idolatry – worshipping the created instead of the Creator.

Rachel wanted children more than anything, so she prayed and cried and complained and manipulated to try and get what she wanted. Leah wanted the love of her husband more than anything, so she prayed and cried and complained and manipulated to try and get what she wanted. Rachel, meanwhile, had the love of her husband and Leah had children.

But…

And there is it. The worst word.

Sure, I’ve got a husband who loves me, but what I really want is a child. Sure, I have children, but what I really want is a husband who loves me.

Rachel had what Leah wanted and Leah had what Rachel wanted. Neither woman saw all that she had because she was too focused on all that she was missing.

This isn’t a “toxic positivity” post. Leah and Rachel both had legitimate heartaches that they had to deal with. It really is terrible to be unloved by your husband. It’s devastating to want a child and not be able to have one. Minimizing our pain isn’t an effective means of dealing with it. But neither is letting our disappointments be all we can see.

I spent many years longing for stability: We’ve moved a lot. And every move was difficult – saying goodbye, starting over, packing and unpacking, watching my kids struggle with new places and new people – none of that is enjoyable. And so I became fixated on just staying in one place. I was jealous of people who were living in the same town where they’d grown up, whose parents were down the street, whose best friend from Kindergarten was now their next door neighbor. I’d pray and cry and complain and manipulate to try and get my way.

And I was miserable.

I also missed out on seeing the many blessings God had given me. Like Rachel and Leah, all I saw was what I didn’t have. Stability was my idol, and I worshipped it.

When I finally released that idol – when I confessed the sin and repented and asked God to help me place my focus where it needed to be – I felt a physical and a spiritual freedom. I could see so much more! I could see the blessings around me, the good that God had brought from the difficulties: a strong marriage, amazing kids, an understanding of a variety of cultures, friends on every corner of the globe.

When I ended the sentence with the blessings (I have a terrific family.) instead of finishing it with a “but…” (but I wish we could just stay in one place!), my perspective changed. And please note: My circumstances didn’t change. But I am at peace with it because my god isn’t stability. My God is the Creator of the universe. He loves me, He’s in control, and He is good.

No “but’s” about it!

“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Mt. 6:33

I was raised to understand that hard work is necessary. I saw Mom and Dad work hard, expect hard work from us, and push through difficulties. They didn’t make excuses for themselves, and they didn’t allow us to make excuses.

But is that mentality going the way of the dinosaur in the 21st century?

This isn’t a “kids today are so lazy” post. Though I am concerned. But I’m more concerned about the parents than I am the kids. As a teacher, I am seeing more and more parents make excuses for their kids – advocating for higher grades, in spite of a lack of effort; fighting for more freedoms with little responsibility; gasping when their child isn’t given a trophy for something he isn’t actually any good at…

As a result,  I’m seeing kids graduate from high school who aren’t ready to become independent, who expect to be given what they really need to earn – a degree, respect, income.

And I’m concerned.

Parents, we need to do better. You aren’t being a “bad mom” if your child earns a C. In fact, I have so much respect for the kids who earn C’s – especially in the online environment. You’d be shocked (or maybe not!) at how much work is done by parents. They, of course, call it “help”. And justify it because Grades are Important! And My Child Needs to Get In the Best School! But they are training their students to rely, not on hard work and perseverance, but excuses and cheating.

We all recognize that being a teenager today is incredibly challenging. I wish it weren’t. But wishing the difficulties away won’t make them disappear. So instead of making excuses and looking for shortcuts, let’s help this generation develop a work ethic that will enable them to be successful in life. Let’s make character more important than grades. Let’s allow our kids to fail, to learn the hard lessons, to sit the bench.

There are more than enough parents who are raising their kids to believe that if something is Too Hard, they don’t have to do it. Let’s balance those families out with families whose kids make mistakes and learn from them. Those kids, like the tortoise in the fable, will end up winning the race – leading companies and governments and future families.

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” ~Col. 3:23-24

I signed my first contract with Thomas Nelson Publishers in early 2011.

If you’d asked me then where I thought I’d be 10 years later, I would have dreamed big: My books would be best sellers! I’d be best friends with Francine Rivers and Ted Dekker! I’d be traveling the world with the ridiculous amounts of money I’d be making off my royalties (and giving lots to missions, of course!)!

Spoiler alert: It didn’t quite turn out like that.

Addendum to the spoiler: It’s okay.

I wrote my first book during the summer of 2010, having no idea whether it would ever be published. The next two were written within a year of each other – a contract means deadlines, but also amazing help from a team of some of the most creative people I’ve ever known. I was teaching full-time, so it was busy, but so fun.

My next three books were written in a year and a half. I was still teaching full-time, but my boss was incredibly supportive, and she gave me an easier schedule, along with extra days off.

I was hoping for another contract after I finished the sixth book. Unfortunately, however, the publisher actually needs to make money, and my books weren’t quite doing that. I was disappointed, of course, but I understood. I was honored to have even been able to work with the team at Thomas Nelson, and they had been so kind and encouraging throughout my tenure there. I had more book ideas, though, and I hoped that, with my agent’s help, maybe a smaller publishing house might be interested.

Then my agent called to tell me she felt the Lord moving her to focus on her nonfiction clients. I understood, of course, but it was tough news. While neither the publisher’s nor my agent’s rejection was personal – I remain friends with them, and I have an immense amount of respect for the work they did and what they have gone on to do – I was still hurt. Rejection stinks.

Right after that, our lives got very busy. We moved twice in 12 months, I took on more responsibilities at work, my kids’ sports kept us out more than we were in, and writing became a fond memory. I’d occasionally come up with an idea, work on a proposal, send it off to an agent, get rejected, ask myself why I did that, and then go back to life as usual.

Meanwhile, those “responsibilities” at work I talked about? I added more Drama classes and directing to my schedule, and the more I did, the more I wanted to do. I have always loved teaching. I know it is what God has made me to do (even my writing was an extension of my teaching). But over the last few years, I’ve felt God moving me from ‘mostly English and some Drama’ to wanting to do mostly Drama. So I did more. And last summer, I started work on a Masters in Theater Education.

So have I stopped writing all together? No! I love writing, and I’ll still occasionally send a proposal to an agent (still getting rejections, but they don’t sting nearly as badly as they used to). I had the opportunity to write with Bill Myers and a team of amazing YA authors on a series of novellas a couple years ago, and that was so much fun. I’ve also written scripts for church Christmas and children’s productions. I get to hear from and sometimes even meet with other writers, and that is such a joy.

Many of those writers self-publish and have asked why I don’t pursue that. The world of publishing is changing rapidly – the big publishers aren’t as “necessary” as they once were. Writers need to do so much more than write these days, but they can have a lot more control over their writing than in the past. That’s the thing, though: I like having other people take care of the details – the editing, marketing, selling, posting. It’s A LOT of work to be a writer in the 2020s!! I don’t want to do that much work because I want to spend as much time as possible teaching and directing.

Francine Rivers (we’re not besties, but I still love her!) has a quote that I share with every writer: “Writing is an act of worship.” A friend even had that made into a beautiful framed watercolor for me. Writing allows me to experience a taste of God’s creativity, to have ideas come from nothing and make them into something. And whether those words are ever read, God has given them to me, and I can worship Him through the process of putting fingers to keys or pen to paper. I don’t need to sell my words to worship with them, and my ultimate success is not in the numbers of units sold, but in Christ alone.

So am I a writer? It depends on your definition: Am I making money writing? No. Am I writing? Yes, always. It’s part of who I am.

In the end, however, when I look back on my life, I want to be able to say that I was faithful to whatever God called me to, in whatever season. I enjoyed my season as a published writer – and who knows, maybe that door will open again! But for now, I feel that the next season will see me behind a director’s desk more than behind my computer screen. But who knows…

The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. ~Proverbs 16:19