MY BLOG POSTS

Forgiveness is possibly the hardest of all the commands God gives us Christians. I prefer the easy stuff like “Do not kill.” I’ve got that. But forgive? Oh, man. That one is hard.

I have to be honest here – I can enjoy refusing forgiveness. I can delight stewing in anger and submerging myself in self-righteousness. “How DARE that person do/say that?” “She thinks I’m wrong? After what she has done?” I have spent days, weeks thinking of all the ways someone has wronged me. I find new reasons to stay angry in every look, email, even body language. Sometimes, I even bring others in. To “advise” me of course. I tell them how I have been wronged and wait for them to agree that I am SO right and that person is awful. So I add the sin of gossip to my sins of bitterness and anger.

You can see the problem here. First, I am miserable. Then, people around me are miserable. Worst of all, my relationship with God is affected because I am blatantly disregarding His word. In many ways. Even my health is affected – I don’t sleep as well, my head aches and stomach does strange things.

And many times, I refuse to forgive because the other person hasn’t asked for it, yet. They don’t think they have done anything wrong. How dare they!! Therefore, I MUST be angry and let them know it so they will see their wrong and seek my forgiveness.

But, as much as I have tried, there is nothing in the Bible that supports any of that. God doesn’t give me permission to hold onto anger and bitterness. He does not allow me to withhold forgiveness. Not for any reason.

There is joy in forgiveness. Freedom. Peace. It is hard, no doubt. And we can think of MANY reasons why we shouldn’t have to forgive. But those reasons are not from the Lord. Here’s what He has to say about it:

“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” ~Col. 3:13

There’s a new 4-letter word these days: a word that causes chaos in checkout lines and rages at red lights, a word whose very syllable makes us cringe in horror. We hear – or experience – this word and our entire day can be ruined. That word?

Move small children away from the screen….

WAIT.

Mmmm-hmmm.

We used to have wait for stuff all the time. I waited for “Wizard of Oz” to come on TV (once a year, at Christmas, right after “Sound of Music”). I waited for cartoons on Saturday mornings. I waited to get my film developed to see what my pictures looked like. Later, I waited for Dave to get off the phone so I could get online. Then I waited for the dial-up internet to pop up on my huge desk top computer.

Waiting was part of life for millennia.

Not anymore, though. We – and by “we”, I mean “I” – no longer accept waiting. Food should be fast. Information should be faster. Want to watch “Wizard of Oz”? Sure! On your tablet, your phone, or your TV? And waiting for pics? What?! It’s actually kind of sad that we have no more terrible pictures floating around. Unless someone screen shots a Snap Chat…

I am a big fan of technology (she types on her blog, attached to her social media sites…), but I recognize that we have lost something precious as we have gained all these cool gadgets. We have lost the discipline of patience. We have lost the gift of a gentle and quiet spirit. We are so desperately trying to keep up with all the things we don’t have to wait for that we no longer have the ability to enjoy the silence (what is that??).

Patience is a virtue, it is a gift, it is a fruit of the Holy Spirit in the life of a believer. And patience is developed by *gulp* waiting. So don’t see it as a bad word or an inconvenience – waiting is an opportunity for God to speak to you, to be real to you, to develop patience in you. It really isn’t a 4-letter word. Except that it is. But you know what I mean.

So hurry up….and wait!

This phrase has become very popular, tbh. And, yes, I know that every word that comes out of our mouths should be honest. And yet…it’s not. We’re not always honest. I’m not always honest.

I can blame growing up in the South or in theater, but I don’t always say what I really mean and I rarely share what I really think. If someone asks me, “How are you?” I answer, “Fine.” But the truth is that, most of last year, I was not fine. And that’s just for starters. I struggle to share my struggles. I want people to believe I’m great, we’re great, life is great. I want to be the “Super Christian” who rejoices in trials and sees every challenge as an opportunity for growth.

But here’s what I have learned: Wrapping myself up in the “I’m fine” cocoon is lonely. Isolating. And dangerous. When I keep my struggles to myself, they amplify. It’s like having a piece of gravel in your shoe. If you leave it in there, even though it’s small, it can push into your skin, make a home there. It becomes a painful infection. But if you just take it out when you first feel it, that gravel can have no effect on you whatsoever.

Sharing struggles is like that. Granted, the struggles don’t go away as easily as a piece of gravel. But their effects are minimized when we discuss them, honestly, with people who care. Paul tells us that when we we carry each other’s burdens, we fulfill the Law of Christ (Galatians 6). And most of us are great at being willing to carry other’s burdens. But the reverse…now that’s just hard. It takes humility and vulnerability, it risks rejection and exposure. And, certainly, we ought to be cautious about who we trust with our burdens. Sadly, some will take that honesty and use it as a club. And maybe that has happened to you, and so you hold tight in your cocoon so it won’t happen again. But that leaves you lonely, isolated, and infected.

This new year, make a commitment to be honest. Ask God for people you can share your burdens with. Seek to be someone with whom others can share their burdens. We are a body, a community. Our job is to love each other and help each other. We can’t be a true a community if we are all wrapped up in ourselves and our hurts and our fears. Break of out that, be free. And be honest.