MY BLOG POSTS

Finals Week is upon us. Students are stressing, staying up late, and kicking themselves for not paying better attention in class this semester.

Many students feel MAJOR pressure to deliver exceptional grades. However, sometimes, students just don’t “get” certain subjects. Some teachers are ridiculously hard. Sometimes, stress at home or with friends takes over your life, leaving little time to study the way you need to study.

It’s stressful, I know. This is your GPA! Potential scholarships are affected. College entrance requirements don’t take into account your tougher-than-nails Calculus teacher or your parents’ divorce. You don’t get to put an asterick on your college entrance essay and say, “That Physics class? The teacher spent the entire year discussing his favorite movies, then tested over formulas we’d never seen before.”

So how do you deal with the unfair? The frustrating? The less-than-good-enough’s?

Remember that God is in control. My friend, Laura, reminds her AP English students that “Your grades do not define you.” We are the children of Almighty God. We are not a 3.2 GPA or an 800 on the SAT. And God’s plans for our lives are not thwarted by a terrible math teacher or a D in Biology (I speak from experience!).

That doesn’t mean we don’t try our hardest. Paul commands us to “Work hard and cheerfully at all you do.” But here’s the key: “Just as though you were working for the Lord and not for masters”. (Col. 3:23)

There are some things you just can’t control. If you focus on those things, you’ll be constantly frustrated. But if you focus on working hard and cheerfully, on pleasing God, then you can experience joy. Even in difficult times. When you remember that your History grade doesn’t define you – Jesus Himself does – you can breathe easy. When you know that God loves you and has a purpose for you – even in that class that seems impossibly hard – you can rest.

When your identity is found in God Himself – not your grades – you are free. So do your best, but don’t get sucked into the thinking that the grades posted reflect who you are. They don’t! You are a beloved child of God. Period

There is MAJOR pressure, I know, to have “someone”.  Especially when everyone around you seems to have a someone and you’re stuck at home on a Saturday night binge watching Netflix.

But, if you observe most high school relationships, there are problems: Young couples are often unprepared for the feelings that come from being in a romantic relationship. They can become completely oblivious to the outside world, losing friendships and, too often, pieces of themselves in the process. When girls, especially, come out of those relationships, they are devastated, lost, and, if they’re not careful, look for another guy to replace the one they’ve lost, starting the cycle all over again. As a result, they only see guys as potential boyfriends, and they lose valuable opportunities to really get to know the male species on a deeper level.

On the other hand, there’s the “Friend Zone” – a place that seems, to many, like the “Mush Pot” in the childhood game of Duck-Duck-Goose. This is the place where guys and girls are friends. Just friends. No romantic interest, no clandestine flirting, no wondering what that emoji in that text means. Friends.

But, ladies, the Friend Zone is NOT the Mush Pot. It isn’t negative, it doesn’t mean you’re not pretty or interesting or desirable. What it means is that you have opportunities to get to know guys as people, not as potential boyfriends.

You can get to know how guys think, what they like, what makes them laugh and what makes them angry. There’s no pressure with friends, no expectations. You can go out with no makeup on, eat that Double-Double cheeseburger, ask the tough questions…and it’s fine!

Sometimes, during the turbulent teen years, you can forget that this is just a stage of life — like toddlerhood, elementary school, and (groan) middle school. It really will end! And those who love you want you to look back on these years with more positive memories than negative ones. More growth than regret. We want you to focus on deepening the most important relationship – the one between you and your Savior. We want you to allow Him to develop a strength of character that will be a guiding force as you enter adulthood.

So let go of that “thirst” to have “someone”, and be a friend to the guys in your life. Make knowing Christ your priority. Enjoy this stage of life without striving to leave the “Friend Zone”. You’ll find, in the end, that the Friend Zone is actually a pretty great place to be.

Several years ago, we had a flea problem in our house. It was especially strange because the only pets we had were fish! Where we these fleas coming from?? And my poor husband has “gourmet blood” — insects that bite anyone else once or twice will attack him mercilessly. His legs were covered in bites. He was miserable.

We sprayed every inch of the house, vacuumed several times a day, and still the fleas returned. Finally, we called in a professional.

Turns out, we had a raccoon living in our attic. He had found a space in the roof that allowed him entrance, and he – and his fleas – created a little nest above our heads. We had that part of the roof repaired and, voila, the fleas were gone!

Why am I telling you this story? Because I just read about Corrie Ten Boom’s experience in a concentration camp during World War II, where she thanked God for fleas! Thanked God for fleas. What would make her do that? Because the fleas in her terrible overcrowded bunkhouse kept the guards out, which allowed she and her sister to hold daily Bible studies. Those Bible studies brought many people to Christ and ushered in peace and joy to an otherwise horrific situation.

I wish I had some great spiritual reason for our raccoon’s fleas. I don’t. But I do know there are other kinds of “fleas” that can cause us to be bothered or annoyed. Maybe the “pests” are people, or situations. For me, often, it’s the simple act of waiting — in line at the grocery, at a ridiculously long red light; or maybe something bigger, like a job or the resolution to a conflict. In those moments, I can choose to focus on the “fleas” OR I can be like Miss Ten Boom. I can see those nasty little intruders as a gift. Maybe God is having me wait in line at the grocery because he wants me to encourage the person behind me. Maybe I’m stuck at a red light to have more time to pray. Maybe the waiting for a job or a resolution is an opportunity to develop patience and practice “rejoicing always” as Paul commands.

I am far too quick to focus on the negative. But reading this account, by a woman whose circumstances are so much worse than anything I could imagine, challenged me to change my focus. Thankfulness is a choice, not a result of life going the way we’d like. So today, I am choosing to be thankful.

“Giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, Eph. 5:20

Martha’s story in THE ELI DIARIES continues in Showtime. This novella is free for Amazon Prime members!

The adage “write what you know” is certainly true in this story. I put a whole lot of me in here. I hope it will resonate with you, as well…

Martha is ‘forced’ to become involved in Kennedy High’s production of “Bye Bye Birdie” – in order to pad her college resume and keep an eye on her baby sister, Mary.

What she wasn’t expecting is being faced with the reality of her own performances – in life: obedient daughter, straight-A student, model church member.

Eli challenges Martha to consider that God has a greater plan for her than she can imagine and that, rather than putting on masks to hide her true self, Martha can be fully embraced by the God who loves her more than she can imagine.

But Martha keeps hearing the voice of her youth leader, Benjamin, a pharisee who equates godliness with checklists and whose lifestyle of judgmentalism has influenced Martha for years.

Who is right? And what is Martha to do?

Check out Showtime to find out!

It can be read as a stand-alone novella, though I highly recommend checking out all the novellas in THE ELI DIARIES!.