MY BLOG POSTS

Emotions are tricky. They can be wonderful, allowing us to feel love and hope and excitement. But they can also be terrible, when we feel angry or depressed or hopeless. The biggest problem, though, is when we let our emotions control us. 

When my oldest daughter was in 6th grade, she would come home crying quite often. Usually it was because her feelings were hurt at school. So she’d sit on our bed and sob. For hours. It was excruciating.

I didn’t know how to deal with it because I always hid my emotions. If I felt the need to cry or be angry, I’d do it in isolation. When I was around others, I’d just act like everything was fine. I would stuff my feelings down until I couldn’t anymore, and then I’d explode. It wasn’t pretty.

Neither of those responses are healthy. Neither are biblical. Emma was allowing her emotions to overcome her. I was ignoring my emotions.

So let’s talk about the better way to handle our emotions.

Be honest. This was my problem. I wasn’t honest about my feelings. I acted like I was fine, but I wasn’t. And pretending you’re not sad or angry or hurt doesn’t make those feelings disappear. In fact, it can often make them seem even worse. If the only one you’re talking to about your struggles is yourself, you’re in trouble. Sharing our feelings is hard for some of us. I understand that. But it’s necessary. Galatians 6:2 tells us that, as Christians, we are to “bear one another’s burdens.” We often think of that as it relates to others, but it relates to us as well. We need to allow others to bear our burdens, to help us, to comfort us. We weren’t made to isolate ourselves.

Be self-controlled. This is what we worked on with Emma during her middle school years. She was allowing her emotions to control her. This is so easy to do, especially for females. When we’re happy, we view life as being great. When we’re sad, we view life as being awful. And when we’re angry, we lash out at everyone around us. All these emotions are normal. But they don’t need to control us. Galatians 5 teaches that one of the Fruits of the Spirit is self-control. If we are Christians, we have this fruit! But we often ignore it in favor of being emotion-controlled. We do not need to give our emotions power to control us. We need to give them to the Lord, confess our struggles, ask Him for help in working through them in a way that honors Him.

We are emotional beings. And that’s okay. Emotions aren’t bad. We don’t need to avoid them or to obey them — we need to acknowledge them. And we need to surrender them to Christ, who loves us and will give us the wisdom and strength to know how to handle the feelings that can sometimes overwhelm us.

Have you scrolled through the options on Netflix recently? My husband and I have, and pretty much everything has a TV-MA rating. Movies are about the same. I sit and prepare to be entertained and end up shocked or offended, complaining about what I’ve just seen, whining that there aren’t any better choices out there.

But, folks, I am part of my own problem!! TV networks and movie studios put money into what makes money. That’s why old movies are cleaner than movies today. Audiences in the 1940’s would not have paid money to see people having sex on screen or dropping F-bombs in every other sentence. We call old-fashioned what is decent and we call “realistic” what is indecent. 

Christians, we shouldn’t put money into entertainment that glorifies sin. And I hear the “but’s”. I’ve used them! But…then we can’t watch anything. But…how will we be able to interact with the world?

And the one I hear/use most: But…it doesn’t affect me.

But, friends, it does. We have eternal souls, and “soul care” should be our top priority. Not in a legalistic way. This isn’t a “God will be mad at you if you watch that movie” post. But our greatest desire should be to honor God, to grow in our understanding of who He is, who we are in Him. And we should hate sin. Watching it should be disgusting to us, not entertaining.

The Apologetics teacher at my school constantly challenges our students to be “Culture Changers” — you guys don’t need to sit back and just accept things. You can change them! One way is by putting your money where your morals are, and encouraging other believers to do the same. Say no to the entertainment that flagrantly disregards God’s standards. You don’t need to stand on a street corner and hold signs to do this. You just need to make prayerful decisions about what you’re allowing into your mind. Hollywood will listen if enough of us speak with our viewing choices.

“Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” Prov. 4:23

I’m one of “those” teachers — one who assigns group work. Group assignments are pretty much either loved or hated. And those who hate them REALLY hate them.

The haters tend to be the really good students who can work faster, and often better, alone than with others. They groan when I assign something in a group because they’re annoyed that they’ll either have to slow down for the others, or worried that they’ll have to do all the work.

Let me talk to you haters for a minute: Group work is life.

I don’t mean that group work is necessarily fun or exciting. I mean that there’s pretty much nothing in life that we really do alone. Think about your career of choice. Want to be a doctor? You’ll be working with other doctors, or at least with nurses and office staff, and their behavior and professionalism will affect your chances of success. Want to work in computer tech? You’ll have a team you work with to develop the software, clients that you’ll have to collaborate with, others in the industry whose expertise you’ll need. Every job has others involved, at some level. Even writers have to work with editors and publishers, agents and readers.

And careers are just a small part of the “group work  life”. Think about families: Successful marriages are a partnership, where the couple works together to accomplish their goals. Moms and dads need to consider the needs of their kids, sacrificing their own desires, slowing down when they could speed up, so their children can learn and grow.

As Christians, we are called the “body” of Christ, with Jesus as the head. We must all work together, using our gifts and abilities, to accomplish God’s purpose for us. And God’s purposes include families and careers. He never designed us to work alone in anything.

So rather than groaning about the group work, look for ways to grow from it. I’ve found that you guys are often really born leaders. You just need to develop those skills — learning how to delegate, to explain your vision, to break the assignment into manageable chunks, and to hold everyone accountable to do his/her part. Group assignments may very well be preparing you to be a CEO or a Principal or Project Manager. So learn from them, lean into them, look for ways to lead well. You may end up discovering they’re really not that bad, after all!

Wouldn’t it be great if God just clearly told us what His will is? Like crystal clear, no ambiguity, with absolute certainty?

He does! Are you ready for it…?

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” I Thessalonians 5:18

There are other verses like that, where God makes His will crystal clear –  just in the next verse, as a matter of fact, and still more in other parts of the Bible. But I want to park here for today.

God’s will is that we’re thankful. Sure, you’re thinking, that’s super helpful, Krista. NOT! I want to know where I’m supposed to go to college, who I’m supposed to marry, what I’m supposed to do with my life. 

Here’s one of the many areas we confuse God with humans. We humans tend to define success by accomplishments — where we go to school, what we do, who we marry. God, however, defines success by whose we are — HIS! We are His children. We don’t have to “do” anything to earn that status. It is a gift given to us at salvation, by grace through faith (Eph. 2:8). And His desires for us don’t center around our actions, but our characters. 

So why would “thankful” be at the top of His list? Think for a moment about what you think about…how often do you walk around thanking God? Do you make a habit of waking to thank God for another day? Of thanking Him for having food to eat, a place to sleep, clothes to wear? When you open your Bible in the morning, do you thank Him for the freedom to do that? Thank Him for the gift of His word? As you go through your day, do you thank Him for the opportunity to learn? To walk? To breathe freely?

Ooooorrr…are you more like me, and do you wake complaining that the alarm went off too early? That it’s still not Friday yet? That someone ate all your favorite cereal? Etcetera.

Imagine how different our attitudes might be if we focused on being thankful every day. How might it affect our moods? How we treat others? How we view our homes and schools and jobs?

And before you say, “But, Krista, you don’t understand. My family/job/school is awful!” I want to remind you that the man writing this verse had a life that was far more difficult than pretty much any of ours. Paul was imprisoned, beaten, persecuted. If anyone had just cause to complain about circumstances, it was him! And yet, he was filled with joy and thankfulness.

So rather than being filled with anxiety about the “unknowns”, be filled with the “known” of thankfulness. It’s God’s will for you! And when God wills, He equips. So even if you feel like this is impossible, ask God to help you choose thankfulness over complaining. That is a prayer we know He’ll answer!