MY BLOG POSTS

I heard on the news today that 61% of people who make New Year’s Resolutions don’t keep them.

So I won’t make any.

Really, that’s nothing new. I hardly ever make resolutions.

Why?

Because I am an optimist, glass is half full, make lemons from lemonade kind of a gal. And resolutions are for pessimists.

Let me explain: Let’s say I resolve to lose weight. 1o pounds by Easter. Will it happen? Probably not. Those 10 pounds are my loyal friends. They don’t want to leave. So Easter will come and, most likely, my friends will still be there. If I had resolved to lose them, I’d be depressed. If I don’t make any resolutions, me and my 10 pounds will be happy, eating Cadbury eggs and Peeps to my heart’s content.

So I resolve to not make any resolutions. And if, by some miracle, I lose 10 pounds by Easter, I’ll be happy. Surprised. Optimistic.

And if I don’t, I’ll keep standing behind my kids in our family pictures, my 10 pounds hidden by those whose fault it is I have them in the first place.

So I was listening to the oldies’ station tonight…much to my almost-thirteen-year-old daughter’s dismay, and I suddenly remembered Mix Tapes.

Back in my day — the early ’90’s — when a guy/girl wanted to show a girl/guy how he/she felt, but was too shy to come out and say the words, he/she made a mix tape.

Some of you “oldies” reading this know exactly what I’m talking about. You may still have one or two of those tapes locked away in your “memories box.” I was never organized enough to keep one of those. Except for the one in my skull. And that one doesn’t always hold memories so well.

But I digress.

For those of you who don’t know, let me explain.

First, you’d have to buy a blank cassette tape. The kids with lots of spending money got the fancy see-through kind that was supposed to record perfectly, making you wonder “Is it live…or is it Memorex?” For those of us whose budgets were more limited, we bought one that looked like this:

We then put it in the right side of a double cassette player. In left side, we put the tape of the song we wanted to record first. Then we recorded. I, for one, had a terrible cassette player that not only recorded the song on the left side, but also every other noise in the room. So if a sister came in, or a door slammed, or I sneezed, I’d have to start all over again.

And we agonized over the song choices. Paula Abdhul’s “Straight Up” was bold — telling that guy he needed to let you know where you stood. Bon Jovi’s “I’ll Be There for You” was only for those in serious, committed relationships. Like 6 month anniversary mix tapes. Christian kids put songs like “I Will Be Here” by Steven Curtis Chapman, and “Love of a Lifetime” by Michael W. Smith. Creative types pulled from their parents’ old music – songs like “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” by Diana Ross and “When I Saw Her Standing There” by the Beatles.

Every song meant something, and the length of the mix tape reflected the depth of your feelings . The full sixty minutes meant you were serious. Just one side…still not sure, maybe scared, maybe just really bad at making mix tapes.

Sadly, those days are gone. And what has replaced mix tapes? I don’t know. Folders on your iTunes accounts? Not the same. Special ring tones sent to that special someone? You tell me…how do you show your love through music in the 21st century?

And make it good.

We did.

People ask me if I’ve always wanted to be a writer.

Nope. That has been a recent development.

So then I started thinking of all the jobs I didn’t want to have. Those are more interesting than what I did want to be. That’s actually a pretty short list: Wonder Woman, Actress, English teacher (that last one is really all three combined :))

So here is it is:

What I DIDN’T Want to Be When I Grew Up

• A cook
• A baker
• A food service professional of any kind
• An olympic ice skater
• A rodeo clown
• A soybean farmer
• A preschool teacher
• The person who scrapes dead animals off the highways
• Anything that would require me to sit behind a desk all day
• A carpenter
• An architect
• A corporate lawyer
• A meteorologist
• A proctologist
• A urologist
• A lepidopterologist
• A firewoman
• A hair dresser
• An urban planner
• An accountant
• A DJ
• A wedding planner
• A party planner
• Pretty much anything that has “planner” in the title
• A professional wrestler
• A mortician
• And finally (I found this online, so it must be true) “A Flatulence smell-reduction underwear maker” (for those with especially bad tummy trouble)

So these are some things I didn’t want to be when I grew up. What about you?

Come on, you know you’re thinking it. Thousands of books come out every month. You have your favorite authors to keep up with, lists of older books you’ve been meaning to read, classics to consider. So why even bother reading this one?

I have compiled a list of reasons why you should purchase my first novel, First Date:

It’s all about you

That’s right. Power. You. The folks who know all about marketing at Thomas Nelson tell me that my readers are the ones who will help make this book successful. Ads and blogs and amazing covers are great, but it’s people reading my book and telling other people to read my book who will determine whether this novel sinks or soars. No pressure or anything. But my entire career as a writer is dependent on you. (insert dramatic music)

It’s really all about Jesus

Okay, not to completely cancel out that last point, but….yeah. I wrote this book because I felt it was what God wanted me to do. (See “Why Esther?” posts 1-3) I want to write good guys who love Jesus wholeheartedly and romances that make Him their top priority, where purity matters and character is key. Books that make you laugh, but also make you think and make you want to know God better when you’re done reading them.

It’s not a sermon

Not that I’m against sermons. I love them. I even download them on my iPod (which is currently lost…but that’s another topic). But this book is not that. Yes, it has lessons that I hope my readers will take to heart, lessons about trusting God even when situations seem out of our control, lessons about how amazing God is and how he is constantly working behind the scenes to accomplish his will. But this story is a story. A fun story about a real girl who struggles just like you, faces mean girls and confusing guys, just like you, and is thrust into the national spotlight when she ends up starring on a super-popular reality TV show. Just like…maybe not. But you get the picture.

It won’t make you cry

I recently read a book that made me cry. It was good. Really good. But so sad. I had to put it down a few times just because the storyline was so depressing. I’m not anti-sad books. In fact, there are very few books I don’t like. I read A LOT, so every type of book is fair game to me. But my book isn’t sad. Writers are told to “write what you know” and “be yourself.” I know a lot about having fun and laughing. I know that hard times are easiest to survive when you can smile through them and find the humor in difficult situations. So there’s lots of humor and lots of “me” in First Date.

It’s my first book

And I’d like to write more. I’d really, really like to write more. So back to my first point. If only my family and close friends read this book, I will not get to write more. Or maybe I will, but they’ll just go on a jump drive and be sent to my family and close friends. And that isn’t nearly as exciting as seeing a book that I wrote on Amazon or in the bookshelf at Lifeway. So, please – read my book! Like my Facebook page. Shoot me an e-mail. I’ll write back. I promise.

And, I promise, if you don’t like my book…well, you’re just stuck with it. But you can use it as a doorstop, a paperweight, you can put it in a catapult and throw it over your roof. You can tear the pages out one-by-one and make origami swans…Or you can put it on your shelf and, after writing me a beautiful e-mail, wait patiently for my next book to come out (July 2012). That
last one gets my vote.

Moral of the story: If you don’t read my book, I’ll be forced to write a very sad story…all about the time I tried to be a writer. And failed. And I’ll send it out on a jump drive to my family and friends.