MY BLOG POSTS

Last post on friendship.

This is the hardest, though. Asking questions is fun. Remembering the answers takes some work, but it’s not too terribly difficult. Here’s the third.

Are you ready?

Good friends tell the truth

(insert dramatic music)

“Seriously?” You’re thinking. “Tell the truth? Really?”

Yes. And I don’t appreciate the sarcasm. This is tough.

Imagine this: Your best friend is asked out by a really, really cute guy. She is super-excited. But you know her parents would not want her going out with him. For good reason. He doesn’t have the greatest reputation. But he is really cute. And she is really excited.

What do you do?

Not easy, right? Tell her she shouldn’t go out with this guy, and she might get mad. Don’t tell her, and she might get into major trouble.

Good friends tell the truth.

But how?

This is a delicate situation. You don’t want to go in too “Jersey Girl”: “Girl, you are ca-razy. Like brains-falling-out-of-your-head, what-the-heck-are-you-thinking crazy. This guy is a box full of illegal fireworks and you are a lit match. KA-BAM. Disaster waiting to happen. Don’t even think about saying yes.”

But neither do you want to be too “Miss Southern Charm”: “Oh, sweetie. I am behind you 100%, whatever you do. Always and forever, BFF’s. You know that, right? I’ll support whatever decision you make. But, maybe, it might be a good idea to, I don’t know, just consider possibly not going out with him. But only if that’s what you want. I love your new haircut, by the way.”

Somewhere in-between is the perfect, happy medium. Honest, but caring.

“Speaking the truth in love” is what the Bible calls it (Eph. 4:25).

Good friends tell the truth. Even when it’s tough.

Have you ever had a good friend tell you the truth and protect you from a bad decision? Have you ever done that for one of your friends? If so, you have and are a good friend! If not, don’t worry…your chance will come!

Good friends ask questions. That was lesson #1.

Lesson #2 builds on that. Good friends…

Remember the Answers

Good friends don’t just ask questions,they really listen and remember the answers.

Good friends don’t need to ask around to know what kind of gift to buy each other at their birthdays. They just know. None of the awkward, “What do you want for your birthday?” “Oh, I really don’t care (iTunes gifts card). Anything will be fine (Taylor Swift Perfume)” conversations.

Good friends remember the answers to those tough questions, too. They remember that last Valentines Day was your worst day ever, and so they plan to take you out to do something fun this Valentines Day. They remember that your most embarrassing moment included a pair of ice skates and some too-tight skinny jeans, so they bring along some stretchy sweatpants next time you hit the ice.

Good friends remember that, the last time you went to the smoothie place, you threw up the Protein-Packed Passionfruit Smoothie, and suggest the after-basketball party be at the Yogurt Spot instead. They know your favorite movie is “The Princess Bride” and walk down the hallway at school quoting lines from that film with you (because you would never talk during class, of course!).

So keep asking questions. That is important. But make sure you’re listening to the answers and remembering those, too.

Do you have stories of good friends who have remembered special things about you? Tell me all about it!

How do you know if you’re a good friend or not? How can you be a better friend?

Over the next few days, I’m going to post some tips about friendship. Today’s topic is:

Ask Questions

Everyone is unique, with special stories and histories, hobbies, pet peeves, dreams and talents. Good friends ask questions. Lots of questions, and good friends get to know what makes their friends unique. And be creative. You’ll find that it isn’t just informative, it’s fun! Here are some suggestions:

• What is the weirdest food you’ve ever eaten?
• What’s the most annoying thing your brother/sister has ever done?
• If you could go back in time, where/when would you go?
• If you had a billion dollars, what would you buy?
• Describe yourself only using words beginning with the first letter of your last name
• Best day ever?
• Worst day ever?
• If you could ask God one question, what would it be?
• Chicken or Fish?
• What’s your “dream guy” look like? Act like?
• Describe your life ten years from now
• Describe your life ten years ago
• Do you think Adam and Eve had a belly button?
• Most embarrassing moment?

Okay, some of these are silly. But that’s fun! And, once you’re really comfortable with friends, you can ask deeper questions. Questions like:

• What do you believe about the Bible? About Jesus?
• What is your deepest fear?
• What is your secret dream?
• Why do you _______________ (clam up when you’re hurt; cry when you’re angry; doodle when you’re bored)?
• Saddest day of your life?
• How have you seen God working in your life this year (the last twelve months, not the last 3 days :))?
• Who do you look up to?

These are just a few of the hundreds of questions you can – and should – ask your friends. Comment with more questions – or some answers! I love hearing from you!

My pastor made a profound statement yesterday, “Negative people attract negative comments.”

He was saying that if you hear people complaining, criticizing, bad-mouthing often, if is most likely because those people hear you doing the same.

Made me think.

The first person I thought of wasn’t a complainer. Actually, she is the exact opposite. My friend, Kim, taught with me at Citrus Park Christian School until her family moved up to New Jersey. Kim is one of the most positive people I have ever met. She always has a smile and always has something good to say. Sometimes I’d go out of my way to pass her in the hall just to be encouraged. She is just that kind of a person.

And you know what?  I would never, ever think of being negative with her. Why? Because, when you’re around Kim, you want to be positive. You want to find the good in people. Just like she does.

My pastor said a lot of other great things yesterday, but that’s what stuck with me. I left church, not with a New Year’s Resolution (see previous post :)), but with a renewed commitment to look for what is good, not pick out the bad. To love the way Jesus does – lavishly, mercifully. He knows we are flawed, but He loves us anyway, and He offers to help us become better, more like him.

It isn’t the power of positive thinking I’m promoting. But it is the power of positive living — made possible by the power of God working in our lives and touching those around us.

“Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift.” Eph. 4:29, The Message