MY BLOG POSTS

Five years ago this week, our family moved from Spain back to the states. Of all the moves we’ve made — and we’ve made several — that was the most difficult. Because it wasn’t just belongings packed in those suitcases. My dreams were in there.

The short version of this very long story is that our family spent three years preparing for a lifetime of ministry in Spain that ended up lasting only ten months. And when we left, I felt like a complete and utter failure. I had our story all planned out. It began with us moving to Madrid and ended with us being buried there, sixty years later, after leaving the legacy of a lifetime of fruitful ministry and deep friendships.

Right after we arrived back in the USA, our family attended a “debriefing” at a missionary training center in Colorado. The people there loved on us and helped us through the process of adjusting to our shattered dream. I am so grateful for their ministry. One of the facilitators shared what has become an unforgettable analogy:

She compared our life to a vase. When a candle is placed inside a vase, the light comes out of the top. But imagine that vase is broken. It breaks into dozens of pieces. And imagine that someone comes in and glues it all back together, piece by piece. What happens when you put the candle in now?

The light shines through all the broken places.

And that’s exactly what has happened. God has used our brokenness to help us shine even brighter for Him. I have compassion where I never used to have compassion. I have been humbled. I have been reminded that this world is not our home. I know that God is in control of everything and His ways don’t always make sense, but they are always good.

And lots of good has come from that move. I could fill pages and pages with the incredible ways God has lavished His grace on us in the past five years. But nothing compares to knowing Him. And it is through those very difficult times that we grow to know Him the best, when we depend on Him the most. And when He brings us through those times, we are better equipped to serve others and to help them through their difficult times.

So do I miss Spain? You better believe it. Do I wish I’d never lived there, never gone through all that pain? No way. God used it to make me more like Him. He used my brokenness for His good.

This is what’s on my heart today. Five years later. I pray it will also be an encouragement to those of you reading this who may be in the “broken” stage right now. Hang on. Let God take those peices and put them back together. Let Him shine through you in ways you never imagined. Let Him comfort you, help you, and heal you.

“If your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there;    if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath.” Ps. 34:18 MSG

There are certain skills I want to pass on to my kids. Passions that I hope they will “catch”. I want them to love Jesus. To enjoy reading. To appreciate a good Judy Garland musical.

I am beginning to lose hope on those last two 🙁

But there are certain skills that I hope I don’t pass on: My athletic ability. My artistic skills. My cooking.

Ellie, my eleven-year-old, is a great cook. My other two….

Have both burnt Easy Mac.

Emma did it last year. Thomas carried on the tradition last night.

It’s what happens when you cook your Easy Mac the recommended three and a half minutes and forget to put water in.

It stinks.

Really, really badly.

Still.

Moral of the story: Some things really are your mother’s fault.

I have a friend who is a dental hygienist. She has been working for the same dentist for 25 years. This dentist has windows facing a beautiful garden. My friend said that, 25 years ago, when she asked patients if they wanted a magazine while they waited for the dentist to come, they would say no. They wanted to sit and just enjoy the view.

(this isn’t the actual garden…but it is lovely, isn’t it?)

Today, though, when people are asked if they want a magazine while they wait, they still say no. But it’s because they have their phones and they text or update or check e-mail. But no one, she says, sits silently and enjoys the beautiful view. Not anymore.

I talked to a fellow teacher today who loves philosophy. People who love philosophy like to spend a lot of time thinking. He enjoys silent moments when he can ponder the purpose of our existence, the free will of man, whether or not Adam and Eve had belly buttons.

Silence. Thinking. I think we have too little of both today. We’re so busy and have so much to occupy our time (says the woman sitting behind her computer screen typing a blog post). But when do we just sit back and enjoy the beauty of nature? Relax and ponder life? Slow down?

I know I don’t take advantage of opportunities to enjoy silence.  To think. But I need to. In fact, I’m going to do that right now….

One of my former students is attending a Christian college. I asked if her school had a dress code. She said yes. I was waiting to hear a long list of what could and could not be worn on campus. Instead, she told me their policy was just seven words:

“No crack in front or in back”

I laughed. Because the images that popped into my head were pretty funny.

But, seriously,  does it matter what you wear? Do Christians really need to dress differently? Or is that just for those strict ultra-conservative folks who want to suck all the fun out of life whenever they can?

Here’s what I think: how we dress is important. It reflects who we are, how we think of ourselves. If you look at my daughters, you’ll get a glimpse of their personalities right away, just by what they wear. Emma, 13, loves fashion. She shops for hours to find just the right outfit, wanting every part of it to go together. If the super-cute shoes she bought are a little uncomfortable…oh, well. Ellie, 11, is much more of a free spirit. She wears what’s comfortable. And when she finds something she really likes – like her knit cap or her fuzzy moccasins – she wears them every day. Does she care if they don’t exactly go with her outfit? Nope. She likes them. That’s all that matters. They are different people and their styles reflect that. I love that! I wouldn’t want cookie cutter kids.

But here’s another thing: how we dress doesn’t just affect us. Other people have to see  us. And, girls, guys are looking at what you wear. And what you don’t wear. Guys are WAY more visual than we are. When we see a guy in short shorts, our first instinct is to gag (really — what are they thinking??). But when guys see girls in short shorts, their brain starts going places we, as sisters in Christ, don’t want it to go.

God made us beautiful, girls. But there are certain parts of our anatomy that need to stay covered. We don’t want to advertise what is not for sale. Yes, I know – it’s hard to find clothes that cover “the cracks in front and back.” But those clothes are out there, I promise.

So, yes, this is a “mom” post. But we moms aren’t out to get you or make your life miserable or keep you hopelessly out of style. We love you and want the very best for you. We want people to see you, not just for who you are, but for whose you are — a treasured daughter of the King.

So, please, just say no to cracks.