MY BLOG POSTS

We worry about just about everything. We worry about how we look and what we weigh, we worry about getting sick, about getting hurt. We worry about being misunderstood, about letting people down. We start worrying early. We worry about getting good grades, graduating from high school, graduating from college, getting married, getting a job. Then we worry about our kids getting good grades, graduating from high school….It never ends.

And because we all do it, we justify it. We allow it. We even joke about it.

But here’s the deal — worry is a sin. There are about a dozen verses with some version of “Do not worry” in them. Here are just a couple:

“So do not  worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will  care for itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own. Mt. 6:33

“And which of you by worrying can add a single hour to his  life’s span?” Lk. 12:25

Ultimately, worry reveals a lack of faith. We don’t really believe God is sovereignly in control — of EVERYTHING. If we truly grasped that truth, clung to it, then we could push away our worries, not give them any power over our lives.

So what do we do? Worry that we’re worrying too much?

How about every time we start worrying, we replace that thought with one of those verses? Claim those truths daily, hourly, until the truth replaces the lies. Until we live in the joy of trusting God instead of the bondage of worry.

A friend sent me a link to an article about declaring enemies on Facebook. Yes, you read that right. Having “friends” isn’t enough. People “need” to be able to declare who their enemies are, as well. Those enemies can be people, companies, political parties, stores, whatever makes you angry. And what better way to deal with that anger than by sharing it with others, letting it grow and fester?

Why is this a terrible idea? Let me just give you a few reasons. I’m sure you can supply more:

• As Christians, we are to love our enemies. That isn’t the most popular of Jesus’ commands, but it’s there. There is nothing loving about declaring Facebook war on someone. Nothing. And there is absolutely no justification for it.
• We already have MAJOR problems with cyber-bullying. This could take that to the next level. Can you imagine seeing your name on an “enemy” list, with “followers” posting what they don’t like about you? I can’t imagine anything worse.
• People are much more cruel when hidden behind a computer screen. There was a popular website a few years ago (I can’t remember the name) that allowed people to post anonymous comments about an individual. I had some students who were absolutely devastated by that. Teens who would never say terrible things to another teenager’s face had no problem saying horrible things anonymously. And we all know the long-lasting effect of cruel words.
• It is a breeding ground for negativity. Even the most optimistic of us can be sucked into a “I hate (fill-in-the-blank)” tirade. And the more people involved, the angrier we get. The angrier we get, the “worse” the offense becomes. I have seen it happen. I’ve let it happen. And it always ends badly, with people hurt and friendships destroyed.

I don’t deny that there are some people, places and things we just don’t like. But there are better ways to deal with those feelings than to make them your Facebook enemy. Or any kind of enemy.  We can disagree without being disagreeable.

“If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.” Romans 12:18

Good Friday – the day Christians remember Christ’s work on the cross.

But what, exactly, is that cross? What does it mean? And is it really important?

I see the cross everywhere – in earrings, on necklaces, in children’s craft projects, even as decorations on flip flops and magnets on cars. None of that is bad, necessarily, but I fear that we are so accustomed to  seeing the cross that we have forgotten what it actually represents, what it means. It has become merely a symbol of our faith. But it is so much more than that.

On Good Friday, Jesus was led to his execution. He was sentenced to a death so horrendous that it was reserved only for non-citizens of the Roman Empire. Not even the worst Roman citizen would have to endure this. And he was sentenced for one reason:

Because he claimed to be God.

He wasn’t killed for being a good person, for being a wise teacher, for hanging out with tax collectors and prostitutes. He was killed because the Jewish leaders of his day found his claims to deity to be blasphemous. They did not believe he was the promised Messiah. And they understood – rightly – that that is exactly who he was saying he was.

But Jesus was the Messiah. He was God in the flesh, come to earth. He lived a sinless life, qualifying him to be the only one who could pay the penalty for our sins.

Sins separate us from God. But God loves us, and he doesn’t want us separated from him. And so he sent his son to die the death that we deserve so we can have eternal life with him.

And that is what Jesus did on the cross. He didn’t just suffer excruciating physical pain, he also bore on his body the sins of the world. I can’t even begin to comprehend that.

And he did that for us. Because he loved us so much.

Today is the day we remember that death, that price that our Savior paid for us – for all who believe on him.

So while cross necklaces and magnets and decorations are highly visible this time of year, I want to be careful that I’m not forgetting what it represents, the magnitude of the work done there. The cross is more than a symbol. Because Jesus chose to go to the cross, you and I  have the opportunity to choose Him, to choose eternity with Christ, to choose a life with Christ here on earth.

If you haven’t made that choice, yet, make it right now. Make this a truly Good Friday.

I saved the “best” for last — communication. Of all the issues teen girls and their parents have, all the questions that we saw at the girls’ event at our church, this was the biggest. Why? Because when communication breaks down or disappears, everything else falls apart, as well. When we can’t talk about what’s going on, what concerns we have, what we should and shouldn’t do as mothers and daughters, then what? This is me — when I went totally blank after I started answering a question. Yep, even word-lovers get tongue-tied! And it happens as a mom, too. We don’t always have the right answers right away. Sometimes we need to think. Sometimes we don’t think and have to take back our responses (like when I’m asked, “Mom, how old do I have to be to date?” and I snap back, “30!” Then I have to go back and say, “I’m sorry. I meant 25.”)

Several girls hinted that talking to their moms about sensitive issues was too difficult. Mom either shuts down or gets mad. Moms reading this — take note! Your daughters are craving a relationship with you. Listen to them. Treat their questions with respect. If there are topics that you refuse to discuss with your daughters, know that they will just go talk to someone else about them. And if you spend years shutting down their attempts to open up, there will come a time when they no longer make those attempts.

Daughters, be careful how you begin these conversations. If you’re addressing your mom without respect, or if you’re immediately defensive (you ask to talk to your mom and she says, “hold on, I just need to finish this e-mail.” and you storm off and say, “I knew you didn’t wnat to talk to me!”), then you’re slamming the door before it’s even been opened.

Assume the best. Daughters, assume your mom loves you and wants to hear from you. Moms, assume your daughters want your encouragement and help.

Forgive past hurts. This is, by far, the biggest barrier to healthy relationships. Of course, our parents are going to hurt us. We are going to hurt our parents. We are sinful beings. If we refuse to have relationships with anyone who is imperfect, we will live a lonely life. So accept the imperfect person that is your mom or your daughter and lavish forgiveness on her. Think of all that we have been forgiven — by the Creator of the universe! There is great freedom in forgiveness, but bondage in unforgiveness.

Be honest. Tell your mom/daughter what you’re really thinking, what you’re struggling with. Life is complicated enough. Don’t make it more complicated by pretending you are something you’re not. There are people with whom you need to be guarded with your heart. (More on that later.) But your mom/daughter isn’t one of them.

Make time for each other. I know about busy. Believe me! But we moms and daughters have to make time for each other. Often. Take a walk together, go to the grocery together. Sit on the couch together. Go out for dessert. Meaningful conversation doesn’t happen by accident. We have to be intentional about cultivating our relationships.

Now I want to hear from you. What are ways you have found to help your mother-daughter relationship flourish? What hindrances to that relationship have you seen in your own lives or others’? Do tell!