MY BLOG POSTS

This is a repost, but it’s what is on my mind right now because (after I finish this) I am packing to take my daughters away for a couple days to discuss dating, boys, and all that fun stuff.

I hear this question a lot: “When should I start dating?”

The answer is actually quite simple…

At age 30.

Just kidding.

Kind of. Not that there’s anything wrong with waiting until 30. But just in case you don’t like that idea, here’s another option:

There’s not an exact age.

Some 25 year olds really aren’t ready to date. Some 17 year olds are.

Here are some questions to ask yourself to see if you are ready or not:

• Why do I want to date?If it’s because all your friends have boyfriends and you feel left out, because you feel prettier when you have a boyfriend, because you like the attention, or because you don’t like paying for movies – you’re not ready.
• Am I ready to think about marriage? I can hear the groans already. But seriously, if you are a young woman seeking after God, then dating is not a sport or a hobby or a science project. It is the way you get to know the young man who will eventually be your husband.
• Do I really understand I Corinthians 13? That’s the “love chapter” in the Bible. Know that chapter, memorize it, and then live it out with those close to you – your parents, your siblings, your friends. Successful marriages result from both partners knowing and living out these verses.
• Does this guy love Jesus? And I don’t just mean is he a Christian. But is he passionate about our Savior? My pastor’s wife has a great illustration for this: She said you need to be running hard after God. And as you’re running, look to your right and your left to see who is running alongside you. Choose from among those guys. Don’t slow down to find a guy and don’t settle.
• What do my parents think? If your parents say you can’t date, then you can’t date. If your parents don’t like the guy you like, trust their judgment. If they’re wrong, and that really is the guy for you, God will work it out. In his time. Which is often not our time.

Dating is fun, and the memories you make dating your future spouse are sweet. But don’t rush it. You might feel like you HAVE to date, that this guy you’re crushing on is the best thing since Facebook. But even what we think is the best is nothing compared to what God has planned for us. Wait for God’s guy in God’s time.

“Don’t excite love, don’t stir it up,  until the time is ripe—and you’re ready. ” Song of Songs 2:7 The Message

I came to a shocking realization while watching the Opening Ceremonies of the Olympics.

I don’t want to visit England.

I want to live there.

I don’t want to be a tourist, to spend a few days racing from Buckingham Palace to Stratford to Big Ben, with barely enough time to wave at the royals, nod at the Globe, glance in the dungeons.

I want to have time to really explore, like a native. To sit in the Eagle and Child and imagine what it must have been like to sit there seventy years ago overhearing Tolkien and Lewis discussing their current works and debating theology.

I want to take tours of every place Jane Austen walked, imagine where she saw Emma meddling in the lives of her friends, where Elizabeth went to the ball where she first saw Darcy.

I want to eat fish and chips so much that the idea of them isn’t even exciting anymore. I want to ride the Tube, but not a double decker bus (because those are for tourists, of course).  I want to say things like, “Bob’s your uncle”, “I got a bootful of fairy cakes for a fiver,” and not have to construct it using Wikipedia’s help.

In short, I want to live in England.

That is all.

Everyone has different reactions when they hear certain words: “test” means something different to me than it does to my students. As does “homework” and “Prom.” I hear the word “X-Box” and it means nothing, but my nine-year-old son hears it and thinks “I want one!!”

“Sisters” is a word like that. Some people have no sisters and wish they did. Others have lots of sisters and wish they didn’t. Some get angry when they hear this word, others get sad. And, I have learned, the older you get, the more that word changes its meaning.

I have two sisters: Alexis and Becca. I am quite a bit older than they are. I was 6 1/2 when Alexis was born and 8 when Becca was born. At first, they were like my own personal dolls that I could dress up and play with and laugh at. Later, they became my minions whom I would send to ask Mom and Dad if we could get ice cream or pizza (they were cuter and would always get their way). And in my teen years, I would drive them around and make them pay me in candy bars (they like to remind me of that one often!).

Today, they are friends. Friends I don’t get to see as often as I like. We all live in different states – no longer sharing the upstairs and fighting over the TV. But more than friends. Sisters. I was doing my quiet time today and noticed my mug. Alexis gave me this several years ago. It has been through all our major moves – sat in cabinets in Texas, Costa Rica, Spain, and Florida. It has been stained and chipped and faded with use. But I still love it.

One of the great things about sisters is that they have shared memories from a shared perspectives. Sure, I did things they didn’t, they did things I didn’t. We are all three very different in our personalities and hobbies and talents (Alexis thinks exercise is fun, and Becca could host her own Do-It-Yourself show). But we all remember how Aunt Maxie used to pinch our cheeks so hard we were sure we’d have bruises, or how Dad would sing off-key at the top of his lungs in church and embarass us. We remember the matching outfits Mom made us. We remember how Grandmother and Grandaddy would come at Christmas and have their whole trunk so full of presents that their luggage was relegated to the backseat.

Sisters are a gift from God. But sometimes, we take them for granted. So if you have a sister near you, enjoy it. Be thankful. She won’t always be down the hall or across the room. And, believe it or not, you’ll wish she was.

(*I also have a brother – and he is terrific – I’m not ignoring brothers in this post, just focusing on the sister relationship 🙂 Feel free to add in your sibling stories below — I’d love to hear them!)

I enjoy the occasional donut. The fatty, sugary, calorie-laden delicacy is delicious. Unfortunately, it isn’t the most healthy choice, nor it is terribly satisfying. And when I eat too many, I feel bloated and uncomfortable, by-passing jeans for my stretchy pants. And while I am, by no means, anti-donut, I do recognize that it is not in my best interest to make these sweet treats a daily part of my diet.

Sometimes, though,  in our spiritual lives, we are content with “devotional donuts.” Instead of feasting on the solid meat of God’s amazing word, we maintain a steady diet of devotions that are light and tasty. They make us feel good, but they are easily forgotten and they don’t really help us build the spiritual muscle needed to face life’s challenges.

I know — the Bible is tough. It is confusing. But I also know that students read tough, confusing works all the time. You have to. Your textbooks are tough and confusing. The literature books your English teacher makes you read are tough and confusing. And let’s not even talk about math! I still break out in hives every time I hear “quadratic equation.” But you read them, you study them, because you know it is important to master that material, to get good grades so you can get into a good college and (hopefully!) get a decent job.

So forget the excuses. Ignore them. And study God’s word. Really study it. Go to your local Christian bookstore and find a study that goes through a book of the bible or addresses a biblical topic. I prefer the ones with fill-in-the-blanks — they help me stay focused. There are many wonderful books like that. And they aren’t expensive — usually $15 or less. And the rewards are amazing. Your faith is strengthened, your love for God and for others is strengthened. And you begin to hunger for the “meat” of God’s word even more. Not that the occasional “devotional donut” isn’t still delicious. But your Christian life isn’t filled with those. They are a treat, an appetizer, but not the main course.

So trade in your spiritual stretchy pants for some walking shoes! It is a decision you will  never regret.