MY BLOG POSTS

Black Friday scares me.

It’s not that I don’t enjoy shopping — I do. I need to be looking for something specific, though. Window shopping is boring. Shopping when I have no money is boring. Shopping in super expensive stores where I couldn’t afford to buy a pair of socks is depressing. But shopping for a new outfit, a gift for a relative, or even just some new curtains – I like  that.

BUT – and here’s where I reveal a little (more) of my “crazy” – I HATE crowds. Hate them. My personal space bubble is huge. I do not purposefully go places where I know that bubble will be infringed upon. If an elevator has more than five or six people in it, I wait for the next one. When I go to the movies, I prefer to have either my husband or an empty seat next to me. But not a stranger. On airplanes, I fold myself in half – the whole flight- just to avoid bumping elbows with fellow passengers.

I rarely attend concerts. Not that I don’t like music. I love music. But the crowds at concerts get rowdy. They don’t appreciate my bubble. Ditto for sporting events. Except that I don’t love sports, so no great loss there. Theater goers stay in their seats, so I can go there. As long as I don’t touch elbows with the person next to me.

But Black Friday?? Huge crowds of people who are known to have NO respect for personal space bubbles? No way. Uh-uh. I don’t need anything that badly. My blood pressure is raised just thinking about it.

How about you? Am I alone in this phobia? Do tell!

The Christmas season begins the day after Thanksgiving, people.

At the McGee house, we don’t pull out our Christmas movies, Christmas CD’s or Christmas decorations until then. There’s no “Christmas in July,” no Rudolph or Frosty allowed before then. Our kids get upset sometimes. Occasionally, they want an “Elf” fix mid-year, and we refuse. Break their little pasta and syrup loving hearts.

Why? Are we Grinches whose hearts need to grow? Scrooges who need to be visited by the Ghost of Christmas All-Year-Long?

No way. We love Christmas! Everything about it. Love that this holiday is rooted in celebrating our Savior, who we worship all year long. I love that classic songs are played on the radio. I love that old movies are played on TV. I love that people are kinder during Christmas, schools take two weeks off during Christmas. It truly is the most wonderful time of the year.

But I also love that we have to wait for it. We anticipate it. Long for it. I am itching to listen to my Harry Connick, Jr. Christmas CD right now. And I could. It would be easy. It’s just three more days. What does it matter? But then what? I let the kids watch “Elf” in the summer? It’s a slippery slope, folks. A slippery slope.

So I will stand my ground. Harry is staying in the CD holder until Friday. Elf is locked away in his case. They will have their time, and it will be wonderful. But it isn’t time yet. In an age where we do what we want when we want, when we get annoyed at having to wait five whole minutes in line at Chick-Fil-A, I say wait. Enjoy it. Savor it. Feel the pain of craving “White Christmas” and don’t give in. Not yet. Just say no.

We will celebrate with gingerbread men, hot cocoa, and a claymation film festival on Friday 🙂

Five years ago, our family moved from Spain back to the states. Of all the moves we’ve made — and we’ve made several — that was the most difficult. Because it wasn’t just belongings packed in those suitcases. My dreams were in there.

The short version of this very long story is that our family spent three years preparing for a lifetime of ministry in Spain that ended up lasting only ten months. And when we left, I felt like a complete and utter failure. I had our story all planned out. It began with us moving to Madrid and ended with us being buried there, sixty years later, after leaving the legacy of a lifetime of fruitful ministry and deep friendships.

Right after we arrived back in the USA, our family attended a “debriefing” at a missionary training center in Colorado. The people there loved on us and helped us through the process of adjusting to our shattered dream. I am so grateful for their ministry. One of the facilitators shared what has become an unforgettable analogy:

She compared our life to a vase. When a candle is placed inside a vase, the light comes out of the top. But imagine that vase is broken. It breaks into dozens of pieces. And imagine that someone comes in and glues it all back together, piece by piece. What happens when you put the candle in now?

The light shines through all the broken places.

And that’s exactly what has happened. God has used our brokenness to help us shine even brighter for Him. I have compassion where I never used to have compassion. I have been humbled. I have been reminded that this world is not our home. I know that God is in control of everything and His ways don’t always make sense, but they are always good.

And lots of good has come from that move. I could fill pages and pages with the incredible ways God has lavished His grace on us in the past five years. But nothing compares to knowing Him. And it is through those very difficult times that we grow to know Him the best, when we depend on Him the most. And when He brings us through those times, we are better equipped to serve others and to help them through their difficult times.

So do I miss Spain? You better believe it. Do I wish I’d never lived there, never gone through all that pain? No way. God used it to make me more like Him. He used my brokenness for His good.

So to those of you reading this who may be in the “broken” stage right now: Hang on. Let God take those peices and put them back together. Let Him shine through you in ways you never imagined. Let Him comfort you, help you, and heal you.

“If your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there;    if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath.” Ps. 34:18 MSG

I don’t like being in charge of things. I want the proverbial buck to stop with someone else. Not me. I don’t like the success or failure of anything to be dependant on me. It stresses me out.

So what does God do? He puts me in charge of stuff.

Five years ago, I started directed musicals at the school where I teach. I love musicals. I love watching them, I love being in them. But directing them…? It is HARD. I have to be in charge of a bunch of people. I have to be organized. Really organized. I have to ask for help – because I have learned the hard way that I cannot do it alone. I have to make a schedule and stick to it. I have to plan ahead.  And on top of all that, I have to make decisions that are not always popular, so invariably, someone at some point ends up upset at me for decisions I have made. It is very stressful.

Why would God do this to me? Not because he hates me or is punishing me – though when I am in the middle, I wonder…! It’s because his strength is shown in our weaknesses. When we are in situations where we recognize we are weak, we seek God’s help more. We seek the help of others more. That is a good thing.

What’s not a good thing is that, when I am in situations where my weaknesses are evident, I can get very stressed, easily annoyed. I snap at students and threaten to call off the whole show because I am sure we won’t be ready for opening night. I lose sleep, lose weight, and lose my temper the week of a production. But when it is over, it is great (see pic!). I am happy, the kids are happy, the audience is happy. I realize that, in spite of my weaknesses, everything came together. And I promise myself next time, I won’t get so stressed…

But I still haven’t learned all the lessons I need to learn. I still find myself facing my weaknesses when directing. I still feel the same tension, frustration, annoyance. Sometimes I handle it better, sometimes not. But everytime I am faced with the reality that I am weak. I need help. Help from others, yes, but, more importantly, help from God. Help to react in ways that honor Him. To choose kindness over criticism, peace over stress, joy over frustration.

I am still learning, still growing, still messing up. But I know that each time God places me in a “weak” place, He is doing it for my good. And I have a choice – seek his strength, or wallow in my weakness.

“And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Cor. 12:9