MY BLOG POSTS

I get this question a lot. I have three kids, a husband, a full-time job, and I am involved in several ministries at my church. So when I do I have time to write?

It isn’t really an easy answer like, “I get up at 4:00 in the morning.” Or “I spend every Saturday hunched over my computer.” Or “the fiction fairies drop it in my hard drive while I sleep.”

It also isn’t an easy answer because I’m not the most organized person on the planet (people who know me just laughed out loud at that). Some writers have scheduled time every day or every week where they write. They never miss, no matter what. Me…not so much. I AM a stickler about getting it done on time. But I am flexible about the “when” and the “where” my writing takes place.

So when do I write? It depends on what time of year it is. For example, I wrote most of First Date, half of Right Where I Belong, and most of Anomaly (coming out in July) during the summertime. When I write in the summers, I take 3-5 mornings a week and usually head to the library and/or Panera and hammer out several thousand words each day.

During the school year, it’s different. When I wrote Starring Me and Right Where I Belong, I wrote on holidays and during my free periods at school. I try to avoid spending too many Saturdays writing because those are family days, and I don’t ever want my family to think I love writing more than I love them. I finally got smart with my last book (second in the Anomaly trilogy), and I took days off work to write. That was incredibly helpful.

Mornings are most productive for me; although, when I am really on a roll, I can write in the afternoon. I have to be up against a pretty hard deadline to ever write at night. I always start with prayer and I try to always remember what Francine Rivers says about the writing process: “Let writing become another way to worship the Lord. Give all of yourself to God as a thank offering.” Writing isn’t about me. It isn’t about selling a million copies or getting rave reviews. It’s about doing what God has called me to do in the way He has designed me to do it.

I might be approaching middle age, but I am not beyond the desire that things work out my way. That life goes according to my plans. That people agree with me and like me. I don’t know if we ever truly grow out of that.

But here is a truth that I too often forget:

God is God, and I am not.

Who am I to question Him? To think that I, in my finite mind and limited perspective, know better then Him how things should go?

But I do. I do question him. I may not say “You’re unfair,” but my actions say it. They say it when, instead of being grateful for the AMAZING gifts he has given me, I complain about the things I don’t have. They say it when I throw my powder down in disgust because it can’t cover the blemishes that I – long past my teen years – still have. They show it when I whine about not getting those cute new pumps I saw at DSW while sitting in front of my cable TV and surfing my high-speed internet.

I am so thankful for God’s word that pierces through the lies my heart tries to feed my mind. God’s word tells me that God is God. I was put on this earth to serve him, not the other way around.

When I remember that – and live that – I go from cranky, “why can’t I get what I want?” to joyful.  Because joy doesn’t come from getting everything you want. It comes from knowing you have everything you need.

Complaining is SO easy. I mean, seriously, there is just so much to complain about – the jerk who cut me off while I was driving, the guy at church who wears so much cologne my eyes water when I get within ten feet of him, the ridiculously low lighting at my favorite restaurant. I complain when I don’t get what I want, when I am uncomfortable, when people do things the wrong way (= different from how I would do it). And I can TOTALLY justify my complaining. I should be comfortable and happy and pampered. Then everything would be fine and there would be no need to complain. Right?

But here’s the problem: We ALL feel like this sometimes. (Some of us more than others.) And so we become a colony of self-absorbed whiners who just annoy the snot out of each other all the time. Because, I’ll be honest, my blog today was going to be a complaint about complainers. Until I realized the hypocrisy of that. Somebody has to to stop it. Some of us have to say, “Enough! No more!!” Because if we wait for life to be perfect to stop complaining we will NEVER stop complaining.

So how do we stop whining? We need to start thinking of others, putting their needs above our own. Worry about the comfort of others more than our own comfort. Keep our mouths shut when a critical thought comes to mind. Choose to look at people and see the good in them rather than being so quick to point out the negative.

“Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky.” ~Philippians 2:14-15

No matter what the self-help gurus say, we can’t do anything we want. We’re not all winners all the time. Some dreams will never come true. And we need to learn to deal with that. We need to know how to be losers.

Some of us will play softball for a whole season and never make contact with the ball (me). Some of us will try to draw a tree and have it be mistaken for fallopian tubes (also me). Some of us will never, ever be liked back by that cute boy in our Chemistry class (yep).

No matter how much our parents may try to protect us, we will all, at some point, fail. But – and here’s the important thing – that’s not only all right. It’s good.

That’s right. Losing is good. Because failure builds character in ways that winning cannot. And developing good character is far more important than winning.

Losing teaches us humility. It teaches us to think of others. It teaches us endurance, hope, compassion. And these are qualities that make us winners, not on the sports field or the stage, but in life.

Jesus didn’t spend any time at all talking about winning. He did spend a lot of time talking about serving. About sacrifice. He was treated like a loser by people He created! He could have put those folks in their place, brought down a lightning bolt on Herod’s head or had the earth swallow up Pontius Pilot. But he didn’t. Because “the Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.”

So, go ahead, be a loser! But do it right. None of this feeling sorry for ourselves because we don’t make that goal or get that part or score that A. Ask God to help you honor Him in ALL things: good and bad, winning and losing. Lose the bad attitude and win a character that reflects Christ. Know that your worth isn’t found in what you can or cannot do, but in WHOSE you are!