MY BLOG POSTS

I talk to and hear from aspiring writers who have ideas and dreams but are afraid – afraid they can’t do it, that their idea won’t be good enough. So they don’t start. These folks are usually perfectionists who feel that if they can’t produce a perfect product, they might as well not even try.

Here’s where being a teacher before I became a writer really comes in handy: all first drafts are rough! I have brilliant students. Really. But even the best and brightest turn in first drafts that need work. And I can spot the areas where they need work – that’s my job. If they take time to listen to me, to make the corrections I suggest, their papers are inevitably better. Second (and third and fourth…) drafts are ALWAYS better than the first.

The first time I got editorial notes from the amazing team at Thomas Nelson, I was overwhelmed: 14 pages of notes. 14!! I am NOT a perfectionist, so my first instinct was to delete the email and forget it. That’s too much work!! And it’s all detail stuff. If you read my previous post, you know I hate details! But I thought of my students. I thought of all the notes I leave on their papers, suggestions to make them better. Just like it’s my job to help them improve as writers, it is my editors’ job to help me improve as a writer. And my editors are phenomenal at their job. They are experts at what makes a story good, what is beneficial and what is not. So I printed the notes, took out my highlighter and dug into them. As I read, I saw how right they were. Parts of my story had holes. Some of my characters were dull. My math was wrong. So I went into the manuscript, combed through it and fixed those problems.

When my husband and I were attending language school in Costa Rica, one of our teachers told us, “You have to make a million mistakes before you become fluent in Spanish. So start making your million.” He said that to free us from the fear that we will sound stupid (we did) or make mistakes (I once offered a guy a beer when I meant to offer him cherries). Everyone makes mistakes. Expect it – don’t avoid it. It is as true for writing as it was for language learning.

So start writing! Leave the red and green squigglies there. You can come back to them later. Just keep writing, keep working. Get that first draft done. Sure, it’ll be a mess. They always are! But make that mess. You – and others – can clean it up later. But don’t let fear of failure keep you from writing. You may have a book that I need to read! So get to it! Start making your million.

I am great at starting things. I love tossing around ideas, planning for the future, dreaming big. Put me in a room with other creative people, and I could come up with all kinds of great plans. Actually making those plans happen, though…I am NOT great at that. Turning ideas into reality requires attention to detail. I do not love details. Details are boring. Tedious. Blah. And when I do get around to completing the “blah,” I want praise, pats on the back, a “Wow, you did all that? You’re amazing!!” I want to be recognized for enduring the horrors of details.

I came across this quote in my bible study a couple weeks ago, and I haven’t been able to get it out of my mind since:

“The thing that tells in the long run for God is the steady persevering work in the unseen. It is inbred in us that we have to do exceptional things for God; but we have not. We have to be exceptional in the ordinary things. It does require the supernatural grace of God to live an ordinary, unobserved, ignored existence as a disciple of Jesus.” – Oswald Chambers (emphasis mine)

For me, the idea of being “exceptional in the ordinary” means to finish what I start, to persevere in the sea of details. It means working alone and unseen to accomplish a task, even when I might not get any credit for it, any pats on the back. To complete the tasks God has given me out of love for Him. Not giving up because it’s too hard, not making “noise” while I’m doing it so I get attention. Just plodding along, even when it isn’t fun. Even when I’d rather be doing something else.

I am still in the process of learning this lesson. I am not “there” yet. But I am grateful that God shows me where I am and points me to where He wants me to be. I am grateful He is a God who finishes what He starts. “Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Phil. 1:6

I’m really not a hoarder. I have moved too much to hang on to a lot of things – it’s just more junk to pack up and move when it’s time to pack up and move. For those of you “regulars” to my blog, you know that our family has packed up and moved a bunch: we went from Tampa to Texas to Costa Rica to Spain back to Tampa from 1999-2007. Lots and lots of boxes those years. Lots of garage sales. I have gotten rid of toys, games, dishes, sheets, even an antique rocking chair (still kicking myself over that one) and a kitchen table my husband spent months refinishing.

But I am having a really hard time getting rid of these shoes…

I bought these shoes just a few months before we left Spain. They weren’t all that expensive. I bought them at a store called “El Campo” – kind of like a K-Mart. But they were cute, and I have worn them quite a bit over the past six years. I have worn them in the rain and they have gotten wet. They stretched out so much that my feet slip out of them when I walk. The insides, once soaked, dried and cracked, scraping the soles of my feet as they slide out. And still, I can’t get rid of them. Not because I couldn’t find another pair. I could. But these are from Spain – they lived in my cute little walk-in closet in our piso in Madrid. I don’t have any other wardrobe items from Spain. I have souvenirs, pictures, but that’s not the same.

And that’s why I’m having a hard time getting rid of them. It doesn’t feel like throwing away an old pair of shoes – I can do that. It feels like throwing Spain away. And I can’t do that. It has been six years, but that country got in my blood, the same way Texas did. It is part of me. And I am sad knowing so many years have passed since I lived there, that all I have left are my memories and some dusty souvenirs.

I get attached to places. Really attached. I sink my roots in deep, hang on tight, and when I am ripped away, I leave bits and pieces of myself behind.

I almost feel like the shoes need, not to be thrown in the trash, but to be buried. Would that be really weird? Burying shoes? OK, yes, it would. But it’s not the shoes…it’s the memories, it’s the country. I don’t want to throw Spain away. I want to remember it, my time there, the lessons God taught me there, the people He allowed me to meet there.

This is the tough part about moving a lot – knowing when to let go, what to let go, and how to hang on.

My pastor made a statement a while back that still sticks with me: “Negative people attract negative comments.”

He went on to say that if you hear people complaining, criticizing, bad-mouthing often, it is most likely because those people hear you doing the same.

Made me think.

The first person I thought of wasn’t a complainer. Actually, she is the exact opposite. My friend, Gina, works with me. Gina is one of the most positive people I have ever met. She always has a smile and always has something good to say. Sometimes I go out of my way to pass her in the hall just to be encouraged. She is just that kind of a person.

And you know what?  I would never, ever think of being negative with her. Why? Because, when you’re around Gina, you want to be positive. You want to find the good in people. Just like she does.

I was challenged by my pastor’s comment to look for what is good, not pick out the bad. To love the way Jesus does – lavishly, mercifully. He knows we are flawed, but He loves us anyway, and He offers to help us become better, more like him.

It isn’t the power of positive thinking I’m promoting. But it is the power of positive living — made possible by the power of God working in our lives and touching those around us.

“Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift.” Eph. 4:29, The Message