Yesterday, I left church crying. I shed quite a few tears in church, as well. Why?
It was our last Sunday.
We love our church. It has become more than just a place of worship. It is a home, a refuge, a community.
Yet so many people hate church. They leave churches or refuse to join because they have been hurt at church, or people they love have been hurt at church, and they decide they’d rather worship at home than with a bunch of hypocrites.
I get that. I’ve been there. Not every church is a healthy church, but there ARE healthy churches out there. How do you find one so great that you cry buckets when you have to leave it? Try these two tips:
Before we joined this church, I prayed like crazy. My biggest prayer was that we find a church where our kids could grow. I wanted them to be surrounded by people who love Jesus and who will encourage our kids to love Jesus. God answered that prayer in such a big way. We had Miss Julia, Emma’s Sunday school teacher, who oozes passion for Jesus. She would call Emma out when she was doing wrong, point her to scripture when she was struggling, and text her at all hours of the night when she was doubting. She even came to Emma’s activities (like “The Music Man” performance at school). Andrew, Ellie’s middle school pastor, digs deep into the word and knows that 6-8 graders can do more than just play games on Wednesdays nights – they can be world changers! Mr. Frank worked in the elementary ministry, despite his disability. He hugged Thomas every time he saw him, looked him in the eye and said, “You know what, Thomas? I love you. But Jesus is crazy about you!”
I knew a woman who left a church because no one spoke to her. I asked her if she was involved in any ministries? “No.” Part of a Sunday school class? “No.” Volunteer in the nursery or youth group? “No.” She got to church late, left early, and complained that, after six months attending the church, she had no friends. The biggest mistake church-goers make is thinking church is for them. Like it’s Chick-Fil-A where the workers are there to meet your needs and make sure you are satisfied. You miss out on the joy of community and the fulfillment of your God-given gifts when you think that! The church is a body of believers. Every part of that body is important. No church can function if the only people serving are those who are on staff. We are all gifted differently.
My friend Rebekah is both merciful and organized. She is the homeroom mom to a second grade class at an inner-city school that our church has adopted. She makes sure those kids have school supplies and uniforms at the beginning of the year. She sends their names out to our Sunday school class so that each kid has a family praying for him/her and has gifts at Christmas and their birthdays. She plans class parties and field trips. And she LOVES doing that. I can hear it in her voice when she talks about those precious kids.
The Wheetley’s (the “real” Carey and Kristie from the ANOMALY series) are some of the most hospitable people I have ever known. They’ll open up their home to anyone, anytime. When the teen Bible study needed a host home — the Wheetley’s volunteered. When our Sunday school class needed a party house – the Wheetley’s volunteered. The VBS workers need a place to make crafts?? Yep, the whole crew met up at the Wheetley’s. Never once have I heard them complain about the mess, the amount of people, the expense of hosting. They love opening up their home. They delight in using the gifts God has given them to help the body of Christ.
I could go on…but you get the idea (and this post is already long enough!). Want to love a church so much you cry when you have to leave it? Pray about which church God wants you in, then get involved! Use your gifts. Look to serve. It is SO worth it, believe me.
Those of you who have read this blog lately know that we just moved. Those who read this blog regularly know that this wasn’t our first move. But it has caused me to remember our first move.
Ironically – Sovereignly – that move took place fifteen years ago this month. At the time, my oldest daughter was six months old, and I did NOT want to move! I was so angry – at God, at my husband, at the state of Texas…why should we have to leave a place we loved, where we had family and friends who loved us, to go someplace we knew NO ONE??
This was before Skype and Facetime, when the only way to share Emma’s first steps and first words were by sending a VHS video taken on our huge camera. The only way for them to see how she was changing was to take pictures on actual film, have it developed, and mailed it to them. That move to Texas for Dave to attend seminary, planned when we were first married, did not make sense now that we had a baby! I was sure we needed to change plans. Dave could just do something else. Surely, God didn’t expect us to leave Florida- with a baby – just so Dave could study His word??
But Dave was convinced this is what God wanted, and no amount of whining and complaining from me (and believe me, there was A LOT!) could change his mind. So I went. Kicking and screaming.
You regulars know the end of that story…I LOVED living in Texas. God gave us amazing friends and a fabulous church. He took us out of Florida, not to punish or crush us, but to strengthen and bless us.
So, as I adjust to this move, I remember that one. With every move, the part of me that kicks and screams has gotten better. I’m just whimpering now. A major improvement over fifteen years ago! But I know that, eventually, I will rejoice. Because, though circumstances are sometimes difficult, my God is always good.
Do you ever feel like your prayers don’t go farther than the ceiling? That maybe God isn’t really there, or He’s there but just doesn’t have time for you? Maybe you’re feeling that now. If so, consider these possibilities as you seek to reignite the flame of passion in your walk with Christ:
I have found that when I feel far from God, it is because I have moved away from Him. This happens when I allow sin to go unconfessed. That lingering bitterness (“but you don’t understand – I can’t forgive that.”), the justifications (“I know the Bible says I shouldn’t, but it feels so right…it must be okay!”), the shame (“I can’t admit I did that…not even to God.”). Sin creates a barrier between ourselves and God. Jesus, in His death, burial, and resurrection, has paid for that sin (yes, even that sin). Our job is not to be good enough to earn His forgiveness, it is to accept it. I John 1:9 tells us, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Is there a sin you need to confess? Do it! Jesus is waiting to offer forgiveness and restoration “from all unrighteousness.”
Don’t Grow Weary
The temptation when we feel far from God is to just stop trying. Why read the Bible when you get nothing out of it? Why pray when no one seems to be listening? We want to just give up. Our faith seems broken. The excitement from camp is gone. So you hit Snooze instead of getting up for your Quiet Time. You don’t bother praying. But that cycle takes you farther from God, not closer to Him. James 4:8a says, “Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.” Not “might” draw near. He WILL. So keep seeking Him, keep praying. Make sure your time with Him isn’t rushed, that you aren’t preoccupied. It is hard to hear God speaking when our minds and hearts are focused on other things.
Meet With Other Believers
We were made to be in community with other Christians. We need to share our hearts with people we can trust, those who will encourage us, challenge us, and pray with us. Hebrews 11:25a charges us to “not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing…” I find that, when my faith is weak, being around others whose faith is stronger buoys me. Hearing what God is doing in their lives helps me recall all that He has done in mine. Talking about my struggles makes those struggles more bearable. And, in turn, when I have come out of my “dark night”, I can help others through theirs.
It’s so easy to focus on ourselves. We get overwhelmed with circumstances – often beyond our control – and begin a downward spiral. Others don’t care and now not even God seems to be listening?? I have had my moments where I am so angry and irritable because I feel that no one – not even God – is treating me well. First, I have to humble myself and seek God’s forgiveness for my pride and selfishness. Then, I need to remember that I am the child of the King. The Creator of the Universe. Yes, this God loves me, died for me, cares for me, plans for me. But he is not worthy because of what He does for me. He is worthy because He is God. He is the most worthy, the most holy. I find that when I concentrate on worshiping our amazing God, I am drawn into His presence. I was made to worship Him. I experience joy and peace and contentment when my eyes are on Him and not myself.
I have loved reading the posts from the REVOLUTIONARY Blog Tour. This was a tough book to write – ending a trilogy is HARD – and I was a little worried about what the reaction to the final book would be. But those who stuck with me through the first two seem to be enjoying the finale. Whew.
So before I get back into my “regular” blog posts, I thought I’d write one on the process of writing REVOLUTIONARY. I won’t give away any spoilers, if you haven’t read it yet. But I will give you a little peek into my brain (be careful, it’s messy!) and how this final book went from concept to novel.
I started out the series with a rough idea of where I wanted it to go. “Rough” is the key word there. I started making changes as soon as I began ANOMALY — those of you who write know that stories and characters tend to take on a life of their own.
But when I got to REVOLUTIONARY, I knew I needed to be more intentional. This was the end of a trilogy. Threads need to come together, ah-ha! moments must be prepared, revelations made. My editor encouraged me to raise the stakes and don’t be afraid to kill people, when necessary.
I took advice from a writer-friend, Shannon Dittemore, who re-read the first two novels in her ANGEL EYES trilogy before beginning the final book. It’s important, she encouraged, to remind yourself what has happened, who the characters -large and small – are and even what places look like. So I re-read the first two, making notes along the way.
Before I began the first draft, I was able to head up to the Thomas Nelson headquarters in Nashville. During that time, I threw some plot ideas around with
the whole editorial team…so much creativity in one room! It was an amazingly fun afternoon. They also gave terrific insight into how I could integrate elements from the other novels into this one to create a greater sense of unity and finality. My editor and I also tossed around some ideas that would lead to one of the big “I did NOT see that coming!” moments in this final book.
Finally, I sat down to write it. It was bittersweet. I found myself slowing at the end, just because I didn’t want it to end! I spent a long time in this world with these characters, and I was sad to be saying goodbye. I also slowed because I had to keep checking the other two books — what did this room look like? What color were that character’s eyes? It was really like writing the ending to a 210,000 word novel than writing the third book in a trilogy. I wanted to make sure the key characters were well developed, that most of the questions raised were answered, that the ending, when it finally came, would feel worth all that time my readers sacrificed to get there. And, above all, I wanted to be sure that I was honoring God with this book and this series.
I finished REVOLUTIONARY a year ago this week. It wasn’t due until August 1st, so I let it sit for a week before going through it one last time. It, of course, went through several more edits. First drafts are never perfect! But the story was complete. I knew what happened to Thalli, Berk, Rhen, and Alex. And I was DYING for everyone else to know, too. And, after a year of waiting…now you know! Or you CAN know.
If you haven’t read it, please do! If you have – would you stop by one of the booksellers’ websites and leave a review? The best way to help an author – besides reading his/her book – is by reviewing it on Amazon, B&N, GoodReads, ChristianBook, etc.
THANK YOU! For reading my books and my blog, for being interested in this post. I appreciate it more than I can say. I am grateful to have had the opportunity to write these books, and I love hearing from those of you who have read them.
While I sit at my kitchen table, drinking coffee and checking email, my book is on a cross-country tour! I am a little jealous, I’ll admit But it is in great hands with the folks at YA Bound. These bloggers, though known only through cyberspace, have become friends as they have journeyed with me through the entire ANOMALY trilogy. I am excited to hear their thoughts on this final book! They have giveaways and several have special info about the book itself. So take some time to visit these websites, sign up for the giveaways and check out REVOLUTIONARY yourself!
Christian Chick’s Thoughts - http://christianchicksthoughts.blogspot.com - Review
Books i View - http://booksiview.com - Review
Highway-Y.A. - http://highway-ya.blogspot.com – Promo Post
Mom With A Kindle - http://momwithakindle.blogspot.com – Promo Post
Words I Write Crazy - http://writingcrazyme.blogspot.com/ - Review
Buried Under Books - http://cncbooksblog.wordpress.com/ - Review
Turning Pages - www.theturningpages.com - Review
Will Read for Coffee - http://www.willreadforcoffee.blogspot.com - Review
Shayna Varadeaux Books & Reviews - http://www.shaynavaradeauxbooks.blogspot.com – Review
trips down imagination road - http://a-reader-lives-a-thousand-lives.blogspot.co.uk – Review
Captivated Reading - http://www.captivatedreadingreviews.com – Review
Gobs and Gobs of Books - www.gobsandgobsofbooks.blogspot.com – Review
Dalene’s Book Reviews - http://dalenesbookreviews.blogspot.com - Review
Gabic Reads – www.gabicreads.blogspot.com - Review
I Read Indie - http://twimom101bookblog.blogspot.com/ - Promo Post
Cristi’s Reviews - http://www.myproductreviews-cristi.blogspot.com – Review
Addicted Readers - http://addictreaders.blogspot.com/ - Promo Post
Confessions of a Readaholic - http://iliveforreading.blogspot.com – Review
The Solitary Bookworm – www.thesolitarybookworm.com - Review
My Tangled Skeins Book Reviews - http://mytangledskeinsbookreviews.blogspot.com - Review
Always a Booklover - http://alwaysabooklover.blogspot.com - Review
Curling Up With A Good Book - http://curling-up-with-a-good-book.blogspot.com/ - Promo Post
Fictional Reality - http://livinginafictionalreality.blogspot.com – Review
The YA’s Nightstand - https://theyanightstand.blogspot.co.uk – Promo Post
Reading and Writing Urban Fantasy and Paranormal Romance - http://readingandwritingurbanfantasy.blogspot.com/ - Review
All Who Wander - http://wendimlee.blogspot.com/ - Review
Such a Novel Idea - http://suchanovelidea.com - Review
The Cover Contessa - http://www.thecovercontessa.com – Promo Post
Beneath the Jacket Reviews - http://beneaththejacketreviews.blogspot.com/ - Review
The NerdHerd Reads - Http://thenerdherdreads.blogspot.com – Review
The Phantom Paragrapher - www.thephantomparagrapher.blogspot.com - Review
Ladybug Literature - http://www.ladybugliterature.blogspot.com – Promo Post
Feed Your Fiction Addiction - http://feedyourfictionaddiction.blogspot.com - Review
SIK Book Reviews - http://sikbookreviews.blogspot.ca - Review
Did you know there are stages to moving? I learned these about ten years ago, before our first move overseas. I have recalled them with each subsequent move, and I am returning to them now, as our family adjusts to move #5.
Even if you aren’t moving, knowing these might help you understand those who are moving or will move. Every person is different, so these aren’t universally true, but they are generally pretty accurate.
Stage 1: LOVE
Also known as “the honeymoon stage”, this usually occurs the first few months. I am in this stage right now. I love our new house, love that we’re so close to the beach, love our pool, love the neighborhood. I am excited about the possibilities in our new church and new school. I am, of course, sad to have left all the “knowns” back in Tampa, but the “unknowns” are still exciting. This will last for a while. Then I’ll hit…
Stage 2: LOATH
My daughter, Ellie, is here. She skipped Stage 1 and moved straight to Stage 2. She hates every single thing about our move. The school, she is sure, will be awful, as will the church. The new house is all right, but she’d rather be back in the old one. She misses her friends and her life. You might meet someone like this in school this year. A sweet girl like Ellie who is just struggling to adjust to a move that she didn’t choose to make. Be kind and patient, and help her see this new place really isn’t that bad. But know, also, the worst is yet to come. Because after the “loathing” stage comes…
Stage 3: LEAVE
In this stage, you move past loathing to a desire to GET OUT. This usually occurs after a few months. It’s no longer new, no longer exciting. The stuff that you hated is just stuff. Your friends in your old town have moved on, aren’t calling you as much. But your new friends haven’t become as close as the ones you left. It takes a while for friendships to really deepen. You just want to leave. Sometimes, you want to go back to your old life, and sometimes you want a brand-new start in some other place – a place you can love. But, of course, that just means you have to start the stages all over again! Better to keep going, keep working, and get to…
This usually happens by the end of the first year. It’s gradual, but one day, you realize that you think of the new house as “home.” You walk into school and church and have friends waving you over. You recognize people when you’re out at the grocery store and the mall. You get more calls from people you know than from solicitors. You never forget your old home or your old friends, but you learn to embrace the new ones. You belong.
Chances are, you or someone you know has gone through or will go through a move. If it’s you – be patient with yourself. All those emotions? They are perfectly normal. You WILL get through this. Be willing to ask for help, to introduce yourself to new people. If it’s someone you know, be patient with her. Moves are tough.
And remember, you can do ALL things through CHRIST who gives you strength! Even move.
Congrats to Hailey V and Victoria: this week’s winners. Shoot me an email, Facebook, or Twitter message with your names and addresses, and I’ll get the books out to you soon.
Thanks to everyone who entered. I loved all the great book recommendations!
And, because I want everyone to be winner, check this out: FREE Slurpee Day!! Enjoy
But I still want to give some copies away. So here we go: Tell me what you think is the best ending to a series - book OR movie. Leave your comments below.
Winners will be chosen at random and will be announced Friday morning.
You regulars probably noticed that I wasn’t really “here” the last couple weeks. And you probably know why – we moved from Tampa to Largo on June 28. The process of packing and unpacking is time and energy consuming. Not to mention, half the time, I had no idea where the computer was! But we are settled in now, and so I am back. REVOLUTIONARY is out next week, and I’ll spend some posts on that, as well as what my plans are after that in the coming weeks.
Today, though, I just want to say that the GPS might be the most wonderful invention of our time. Seriously. I have THE WORST sense of direction. I can get lost in places I know. So in a place I don’t know?? If it weren’t for the handy GPS on my phone, I might not be sitting at the computer writing this right now. I might be sleeping in my car somewhere in Pinellas county, with no idea how to get back to my house (because, to make things worse — all the streets around here are numbered: 118, 102, 66…. I HATE numbers!! That, combined with my terrible sense of direction, adds up to trouble, my friends!).
But I’m not sleeping in my car, I’m home. Because, although I have no idea how to get around Pinellas county, my GPS does. I just tell it where I want to go (like the beach….5.8 miles away!), and it takes me there. Once, I thought I knew where I was going, so I turned it off. BAD idea! But the good news is that, as soon as I turned it back on, it got me straightened out.
Thinking about how much I love my GPS made me think about something else that provides direction when I’m lost, that always knows the right way to go, something I need even more than I need directions to the beach: the Bible.
Sometimes, I think I can go without it, though. I can figure things out on my own. BAD idea! When I do that, I am unhappy, cranky, and confused. God isn’t up there forcing me to do things His way, but He is saying His ways are better than mine, and if I follow His paths, I will experience joy and peace, no matter the circumstances.
The Bible tells us that God has plans for us, paths that He will make straight. It tells us that, if we look the Him for direction, He will direct our steps. But we need to seek Him — we need to get into the Word, know it, and through it, know Him.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” ~Jer. 29:11
Thanks for all the birthday stories, guys! Those were fun!
This week’s winners are Lauren and Sarah. Email me with your address, and I’ll get a signed book in the mail to you next week.
I’ll have one more giveaway next Tuesday, so come on back then if you didn’t win this time.
Happy 4th of July to you all!