Change

I hate change. And I’m not being dramatic or hyperbolic. I hate it. Passionately.

And yet…it is part of life. There is always change. Sometimes it’s change we choose, sometimes it’s change that’s forced on us. Whatever it is, change comes, like waves on the shore. And while some folks just jump over the waves or surf on top of them, I get knocked down and feel like I’m drowning.

I am in the middle of all kinds of change right now. The most difficult is the one happening today: My oldest is leaving for 5 months to serve with  YWAM (Youth With a Mission) in Mexico. It’s a great thing – she has a passion for missions and ministry, a love for God’s word, and this opportunity allows her to pursue all of that. But it’s still hard. I have rarely been away from Emma, since that day in May 1998 when the pregnancy test announced she was on her way. She has been away from home before – at camp, or visiting family or friends. But she was away from home. This change means that, for the next few months, anyway, she is making her home somewhere else. Her closet is empty, her room is bare. I am going to bed tonight, and Emma won’t be home.  She will be settling into her new room in her new “home.” And as much as I have known that my kids are a gift, and my goal as a parent is to see them fulfill the purposes God has for them, the reality of that goal being reached is bittersweet. The waves of change are crashing.

There’s no easy way through this change, no easy way through any of it. I am not a surfer, I can’t ride the waves. Maybe someday I’ll figure out how to do that. But for now, all I can do is tread water. Breathe. Remind myself of what is true: Life brings changes, but Jesus never changes. With Emma, I can trust that God loves her even more than I do, and He is right beside her. With other changes, not quite as pleasant, I can trust that same God to walk beside me, hold me, deal with my weakness, and eventually bring me back onto shore.

3 Comments

  1. Tony Miller
    Jan 11, 2018

    Praying for Emma protection!

  2. Debbie Price
    Jan 12, 2018

    This wave of change is the beginning of new chapters in your life. Embrace each emotion that comes with the change. God grows us through times such as these…praying for you. I love you!

  3. Becky Wallace
    Jan 12, 2018

    Praying for you and Dave and Emma!
    Changing seasons are hard but always worth the lessons that come. So proud of the parents Emma was graced with!

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