In Favor of the “Friend Zone”

There is MAJOR pressure, I know, to have “someone”. Especially when everyone around you seems to have a “someone” and you’re stuck home on a Saturday with Netflix and a pint of Ben and Jerry’s.

But, if you observe most high school relationships, there are problems: Young couples are often unprepared for the feelings that come from being in a romantic relationship. They can become completely oblivious to the outside world, losing friendships and, too often, pieces of themselves in the process. When girls, especially, come out of those relationships, they are devastated, lost, and, if they’re not careful, look for another guy to replace the one they’ve lost, starting the cycle all over again. As a result, they only see guys as potential boyfriends, and they lose valuable opportunities to really get to know the male species on a deeper level.

On the other hand, there’s the “Friend Zone” – a place that seems, to many, like the “Mush Pot” in the childhood game of Duck-Duck-Goose. This is the place where guys and girls are friends. Just friends. No romantic interest, no clandestine flirting, no wondering what that emoji in that text means. Friends.
But, ladies, the Friend Zone is NOT the Mush Pot. It isn’t negative, it doesn’t mean you’re not pretty or interesting or desirable. What it means is that you have opportunities to get to know guys as people, not as potential boyfriends.

You can get to know how guys think, what they like, what makes them laugh and what makes them angry. There’s no pressure with friends, no expectations. You can go out with no makeup on, eat that Double-Double cheeseburger, ask the tough questions…and it’s fine!

Sometimes, during the turbulent teen years, you can forget that they are just a stage of life — like toddlerhood, elementary school, and (groan) middle school. It really will end! And those who love you want you to look back on these years with more positive memories than negative ones. More growth than regret. We want you to focus on deepening the most important relationship – the one between you and your Savior. We want you to allow Him to develop a strength of character that will be a guiding force as you enter adulthood.

So let go of that “thirst” to have “someone”, and be a friend to the guys in your life. Make knowing Christ your priority. Enjoy this stage of life without striving to leave the “Friend Zone”. You’ll find, in the end, that the Friend Zone is actually a pretty great place to be.

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