Resolved to Rejoice
I planned to write a first-post-of-the-year about how awful 2014 was. I had it all planned out in my mind: Lots of whining and “nothing is going my way” and “woe is me” stuff. Pretty powerful. Incredibly pathetic.
But God has been working on me, and He has made me see that the problems with this year weren’t problems with my circumstances. They were problems with my attitude.
Things aren’t going my way, and instead of dealing with that reality and accepting that the world does not revolve around Krista McGee, I have gotten angry. That self-centered anger has colored everything thing I’ve seen and done; it is like a hundred-pound weight that I have chosen to drag around everywhere, upset that it’s there, but refusing to throw it off.
I don’t want to bring that weight into 2015. And, contrary to the lies I have been feeding myself for months, I don’t have to. My circumstances may not change (and honestly, they aren’t that bad), but my attitude can.
The battle is in my mind – in the thoughts I allow in. If I dwell on what is not true, not honorable, not just, not lovely or excellent or good (Phil. 4:8), I will not be able to rejoice (Phil. 4:4), and I will not have the peace that passes all understanding (Phil. 4:7). But if I do what those scriptures teach, I will experience the joy that comes, not from life going the way I way I want it to go, but from God.
Because the battle is in my mind, I need to consciously change how I am thinking. I need to declare war on the negative thoughts that vie for my attention. So I downloaded an app called Fighter Verses – it has one verse a week to memorize. I make that verse my lock screen, and look at it throughout the day. When the “woe is me thoughts” enter, I replace them with my verse for the week. I dwell on that, meditate on it, let it fill all those spaces in my mind that have been fertile ground for anger and discontentment.
It is a battle, and I know that it will continue. But I am resolved to choose to seek God and not my own selfish desires. I am resolved to rejoice.