Survivor – Mall Edition

For the last couple hours, my husband and son have been watching survival shows. The people on these shows are crazy. I can’t believe what they’re eating, where they’re sleeping, how close to death they are coming.

I do not enjoy roughing it. I enjoy nature, don’t get me wrong. I grew up doing lots of outdoor things: hiking in the mountains, skiing in lakes, swimming in the ocean, walking up steps to roller coasters.  But once I am done with that stuff, I am done. I want to sleep in a  real bed. With sheets that smell spring fresh. I want to eat food that looks like food. Not like pets. Or pests.

If I had to be on a survival show, I’d like to be stuck in a huge mall overnight.

I could find my way through the Fall Preview section, dodging the overpriced shoes and looking for the elusive 75% off silk shirt. I’d sip some Starbucks’ brew to help me stay alert so I could peruse the jewelry store – finding just the right necklace and earrings to go with my new shirt. Then I’d hit the furniture section of the department store, using my keen senses to uncover just the right comfy chair to read a book I picked up from one of the most endangered species around – an actual bookstore.

Oh, yes. That would be fun. If some network decides to produce Survivor – Mall Edition, let me know! I think I’d better start training now, so I’m ready…:)


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