But it’s not fair!!

I might be approaching middle age, but I am not beyond the desire that things work out my way. That life goes according to my plans. That people agree with me and like me. I don’t know if we ever truly grow out of that.

But tonight, I was sitting in my Bible study and was faced, again, with the truth that I too often forget:

God is God, and I am not.

Who am I to question Him? To think that I, in my finite mind and limited perspective, know better how things should go?

But I do. I do question him. I may not say “You’re unfair,” but my actions say it. They say it when, instead of being grateful for the AMAZING gifts he has given me, I complain about the things I don’t have. They say it when I throw my powder down in disgust because it can’t cover the blemishes that I – long past my teen years – still have. They show it when I whine about not getting those cute new pumps I saw at DSW while sitting in front of my cable TV and surfing my high-speed internet.

I did it when my life plans weren’t working out the way I expected them to. When God moved our family thousands of miles from everything and everyone we knew. Four times. When circumstances were tough and didn’t make sense. I got upset and felt, in my heart, God wasn’t being fair to me. I try to serve Him, to do what’s right. Why doesn’t he lavish me with gold and mansions and a flawless complexion?

I am so thankful for God’s word that pierces through the lies my heart tries to feed my mind. God’s word tells me that the Creator knows better than his creation. That he is loving and in control, and that he will work all things out for good to those who love him. It may not be in our timing, but it’s in his.

God is God. I was put on this earth to serve him, not the other way around.

Sometimes, I forget that. And when I forget that, I get cranky. Because happy doesn’t come from getting everything you want. It comes from knowing you have everything you need.

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